All The ‘House Of The Dragon’ Wigs We Were Forced To Witness In Episode 6

Episode 6 of House of the Dragon catapulted us over a decade into the future, and with a slightly new cast cometh a new parade of Westeros’ worst wigs.

I had hoped that the time of wig roasting was behind us. That the days of cringing at the sight of a multi-million dollar show using wigs that wouldn’t look out of place in a Go-Lo had, at least, plateaued.

Alas, a time jump has brought new actors for a grown-up Rhaenyra, Alicent, and their swiftly growing hoard of children. Sadly, this change has also brought forth the necessity for even more bewildering wig styling.

So, here we go — Round 3.

Ser Harwin? More Like Ser Hair WINNER – Sorry, He’s Just So Pretty

Is Ser Harwin’s wig the only good one we’ve seen in six episodes? Or is Ryan Corr so handsome that you could put a hairless cat on his head and I’d still swoon? The jury’s out on the answer. Guess I’ll just have to, um, watch his scenes again, you know, to get to the bottom of it.

PHOEBE BRIDGERS?!? Wait – Never mind.

Someone on the House of the Dragon set, whose experience of straight blonde hair is their daughter’s description of Hannah Montana pitched this like, “I think Rhaenyra would plait her fringe back over the top of her head like girlies in the early ’00s, but I don’t want it to look exactly like that because it’s Westeros, not 2005.” And that’s how Rhaenyra ended up with a pinned-back fringe that has its own separate part for some reason.

Nope!

Well, we finally got an answer to the question of whether Laena would ever grow into that wig and the answer is a resounding, far too noodle-like nope. Nanna Blondell is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, but the highest compliment I can pay this wig is that I’m sure any of the surviving members of KISS would appreciate the donation.

Save It For Eurovision

Because it is both layered, yet entirely repulsive and ill-fitted, the highest compliment I can pay this wig is that it is essentially method acting for Aegon the Second. It’s giving Garth from Wayne’s World, without any of the iconic comedy to make up for it. Why have the stylists decided hairlines are actually halfway up the head? Why does this look like Lucius  Malfoy braided his hair overnight?

A Song Of Ice And Fire The Stylists, Please

It’s a style that asks and answers, “what would happen if someone tried to style a front-to-back combover with some bleached mop strands that had been glued to someone’s forehead?”, and you know what? We didn’t need the answer. As if Ser Laenor hasn’t endured enough as a gay person in a Game of Thrones show.

I Hope She Blasts This Show’s Wig Department In A Memoir

I could make a quip here, but I think the beautiful Eva Ossei-Gerning’s face says it all.

Please Say Psych…

I’m sorry, but this one really is just a microaggression made real. Once again, the show finds an elaborate way to admit that not only are there no Black stylists involved in House of the Dragon, but the stylists present seem to be aliens whose only frame of reference for POC are offensive Halloween costumes.

$20 Million Per Episode But They’re Ordering Via Wish

It will haunt me until my dying day that this is one of the most expensive shows on Earth yet, with $20 million, Prince Daemon’s head is giving sun bleached Lord Farquaad. Even on this list, however, he’s still second to his brother…

Who Wore It Better?

When it was teased we might see some familiar faces from Game of Thrones in House of the Dragon, I didn’t think they meant… this. But it’s good to know, at the very least, the folks at HBO value recycling. Congrats to King Viserys for being the worst in two lists running!

I’ve chosen to believe the wig’s quality deteriorates as an allegory for the Targaryen’s diminishing dominion over Westeros. The canary in the coal mine of House of the Dragon is the wigs atop their incestuously bred crowns.

House of the Dragon is streaming on Foxtel.