Gaming

‘Hitman 2’ Wants You To Kill Sean Bean Right Now

by Chris Button  3 December 2018
Hitman 2 Sean Bean

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Not content with seeing acclaimed English actor Sean Bean dying in just about every movie and TV show he’s appeared in, Danish game studio IO Interactive has made it possible to assassinate the poor bloke in their latest game, Hitman 2. Even the man himself wants to have a go!

Hitman 2 is the latest in a series of assassin-simulator games following the cheery antics of Agent 47, a gun-for-hire whose defining character traits include being bald, dressing up in different outfits, and totally rocking a sweet barcode tattoo on the back of his head. Highlighting the wonders of what modern games technology is capable of, the recent Hitman titles are renowned for their massive levels, serving as densely-populated sandboxes where you’re free to approach missions however you damn well please.

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Inexplicably, every Hitman character whose outfit can be donned by Agent 47 fits his sculpted body perfectly – whether it be a chef’s clothing, security guard uniform, or a flamboyant flamingo mascot costume. Even more bizarre, very few characters give a rat’s-arse seeing an extremely tall, conspicuously-barcoded man who they’ve never met parading around in their recently-incapacitated colleague’s threads. Perhaps they just assume he’s the work experience kid?

Hitman 2

Following on from 2016’s Hitman, Hitman 2 features a game mode titled Elusive Target. This mode introduces limited-time contracts where you’re tasked with assassinating a new target in one of the game’s pre-existing levels. The catch? You only get one chance. Once you begin the contract, you can’t save and come back later or try again. Failing an Elusive Target mission is final. By creating such finite, high-stakes scenarios, these encounters generate some of the tensest, rewarding, and often unintentionally hilarious moments in the series. Successfully completing one of these contracts will net you some in-game rewards, usually in the form of a new outfit for your murderous fashionista agent.

Having been out for a handful of weeks now, Hitman 2’s first Elusive Target is now live in the form of fictional disgraced MI5 agent-turned-assassin, Mark Faba, in the Miami racetrack level. Faba has been confirmed killed multiple times by the International Contract Agency (ICA), the folks who Agent 47 works for, but Faba annoyingly keeps popping up again following each attempt. His penchant for cheating death has seen him labelled “The Undying”.

And of course IO Interactive enlisted the veritable Whac-a-Mole actor himself, Sean bloody Bean, to portray Faba. Yes, the very same “Brace Yourselves” and “One Does Not Simply” meme lord actor whose character deaths you may remember from Patriot Games, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, and Game of Thrones – just to name a few.

Proving what a good sport he is, Bean also starred in a promotional campaign leading up to Hitman 2’s release, including a live-action video where he self-referentially monologues to a therapist about how “they keep trying to kill me!”

After a slick briefing on what to expect from Faba, you’re given total autonomy for your approach. Your target loops around the laboratories in Miami, inspecting various experimental weaponry, including an exploding pen – a sly wink to the gadget that led to Alec Trevelyan’s (played by Bean) downfall in Bond film Goldeneye. The pen also doubles as an unlockable reward for anyone who participates in this Elusive Target.

Hitman 2

Players have already uncovered various creative assassination methods, including poisoning the man and subsequently drowning him in a toilet:

Another player went all Harlem Globetrotters on Faba – that is, if the Harlem Globetrotters used exploding briefcases instead of basketballs, and they were in the business of killing people instead of promoting family-friendly entertainment.

via Gfycat

Reddit user Metalgaiden elaborated that they used a breaching charge to launch the briefcase from the lower level, leading to the finishing explosion you see. Industrious!

Conversely, other players have been concerned about Faba’s diet, ensuring he gets his recommended dietary intake of blueberry muffins.

Of course, with Bean’s aptitude for death, it’s quite possible Faba might die even without Agent 47’s help.

As for my attempt? After meticulously planning my approach and practising with the original Miami targets, things quickly went balls-up. I followed the scripted method which gave me a face-to-face meeting with Faba, albeit with a room full of potential witnesses. Eventually, I isolated a guard and attempted to steal his uniform, but he opened a door to a heavily-trafficked hallway just as I pounced. Here I discovered strangling a dude into submission in full view of unsuspecting staffers was frowned upon. The ensuing gunfire from security rattled my already minimal thought process as Faba made a run for it. With nothing else going for me, I chased after him and blindly shot a full pistol clip into his cowardly back – not one of Sean Bean’s most memorable deaths. Cue a hasty escape via helicopter for my well-deserved one-star mission rating.

Hitman 2

Nailed it.

Thankfully, I may get another chance at old mate Sean Bean, as there’s speculation that he will show up again in future Hitman 2 Elusive Targets in the game’s other levels. This is seemingly hinted at by the reward for completing 12 Elusive Target contracts – a suit called “The Undying Look”.

If you already have or do manage to successfully flick Bean’s character from the land of living to the dead, perhaps be careful of how you phrase it on social media. Twitter banned one user for tweeting about killing the actor, misconstruing their intentions as a legitimate death threat. This has lead to some amusing safeguards, with one publication’s intentions towards Bean rather ambiguous.

They obviously meant “hugging” – get your mind out of the gutter, you filthy degenerates.

Irrespective of what you want to do to Sean Bean, Hitman 2’s first Elusive Target contract, The Undying, is live now until tomorrow — Tuesday, December 4.

Good luck!