Exhausted WorldPride Tourist Chris Zou Is Coming Back To Australia
“I’m already horrified at the thought of coming back".
Canadian TikToker Chris Zou captured our hearts with his series of TikToks detailing his exhaustion during Sydney WorldPride earlier this year. Now, he will be making his reluctant return to Australia — this time, with Melbourne on the itinerary, too.
Back in February, Chris documented the chaos of partying with Aussies during Mardi Gras season, at one point declaring: “I am honestly shocked that I am still alive.” Coming from Toronto, Chris was taken aback by the typically stacked Australian party schedule, which can include pre-party, a day party, a night party, kick-ons, an after-party, and brunch. “When the fuck do these people sleep?” he memorably questioned. Sorry, Chris. I can confirm that being gay and living in Sydney during Mardi Gras is an ordeal.
The good news is that while Chris ended up going home to Canada, declaring he’d have to “leave Sydney or die”, he’s just announced that he’s coming back to Australia. I’m not sure how he got roped into it, but our favourite cultural anthropologist is officially making his return.
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In true Chris Zou fashion, he isn’t enthused about this at alll. “I’m already horrified at the thought of coming back,” he says. I get it. The man’s experience of Mardi Gras was clearly a baptism of fire, and I too worry about him returning to site of his trauma.
Chris says that the event he is coming back for is “Horrorween” — an LGBTIQ Halloween dance party — which he says is fitting given the fact that he is “already horrified.” Chris please, don’t hate Australia so much. I promise it’s not always as chaotic as Mardi Gras. There is also quiet and calm!
The other reason Chris is dropping by Melbourne? His Melbourne friends. “It’s so that [they] could just shut up about how much better they are than Sydney,” he deadpans. Chris really understands this country. As a lifelong Sydney resident constantly made to feel insecure about not living in Melbourne, I feel seen.
A visibly concerned Chris added that he’s going to travel half away around the world just to drink a Melbourne coffee and say something along the lines of, “Mmm mate, you’re right, it is better than Sydney.” It’s tough work Chris, but Melburnians need this assurance every few days.
If Chris was exhausted by Sydney’s party culture, a list of things he will probably be exhausted by in Melbourne include: the pretense of ‘cool’, the all-black outfits, the sea of Kathmandu puffer jackets, North Fitzroy (I refuse to elaborate), and the endless shades of grey. Oh, and coffee culture, of course.
On the other hand, the party scene in Melbourne is may well be less exhausting than what Chris experienced at WorldPride. If Sydney is all about pop music and bright lights, Melbourne will have you dancing in dark corners while listening to very loud drum and bass.
In any case, Chris, I eagerly await your Australian return. Don’t let Melbourne push you around, OK? If you need help, you know where we are: click your shoes together three times, and Sydney will come and get you.