Yes, You’re Buying A Fleetwood Mac Ticket Tomorrow. Here’s Why.

A rule of thumb for your next party: Never ask the guests to name the greatest band in the world. It will only lead to tears, pulled hair, tossed drinks, perhaps even a bit of bloodshed — not unlike those Sydney vs. Melbourne rows that break out every week in the comments section of newspaper websites.

But also: it’s not even up for debate. The greatest band in the world is Fleetwood Mac. That is the only correct response. It is inarguable. The Beatles, for all their influence, gave it up in 1970. (We shan’t speak of ‘Free As A Bird’.) Pink Floyd is too polarising. Led Zeppelin is a contender, but… you know, heavy metal and stuff. Queen lost its way sometime around 1982, U2 is too preachy, and half of us can’t understand a lick of what Radiohead is trying to do. The Rolling Stones probably come closest to claiming the mantle, but it’s time to rethink that assumption, too.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS BAND?!

When Mick Fleetwood, Lindsay Buckingham, Stevie Nicks and John McVie hit Australia this November for a string of shows — their first here since 2009 — they’ll bring a rich, storied musical legacy that spans more than 35 years; if you count the band’s original incarnation as a lady-free, British blues-rock act, you’re reaching back nearly half a century. Their biography is a textbook example of rock excess: drug addictions, inter-group marriages, divorces and affairs, alcoholism, years-long grudges, management issues, nightmarish lawsuits, budget-busting albums, chart disappointments, solo careers, and an almost laughable rate of member turnover. Original member Jeremy Spencer inexplicably disappeared one night in 1971 and never came back – he’d joined a cult. Two years later, a former manager (obviously as off his face as the rest of the group) claimed ownership of their name and sent a faux version of ‘Fleetwood Mac’, featuring four new members, on tour, Guns N’ Roses-style. Also, they sing ‘Rhiannon’.

Through some divine combination of patience, talent, tenacity and — let’s be real — copious amounts of money, Fleetwood Mac is still here. Well, mostly: Christine McVie, who’s responsible for many of the band’s best songs, retired from touring in 1998. So what you’re seeing is really 4/5ths of the band’s classic (read: utterly perfect) lineup. But what a 4/5ths it is. Early reviews from their stateside shows are predictably glowing, and hint at a setlist heavy on tracks from Rumours (duh), with a sprinkling of new songs and even ‘Stand Back’, that fiery Stevie Nicks solo track you’ve lip-synced in the mirror at least once in your life.

Have I convinced you to just buy your ticket already? No? Okay, nine more reasons.

1. Because they don’t charge out the ass for their shows.

The Rolling Stones have toured steadily for 50 years, but that hasn’t stopped them from asking for upwards of $600 to witness their latest jaunt. Which may have been a mistake: according to reports, they’re struggling to find an audience. Fleetwood Mac, on the other hand, is performing to sell-out crowds in the US. Credit their enduring popularity. Or that primal, universal urge to see Stevie Nicks’ twirling dolman sleeves with one’s own eyes (which New York Magazine‘s Jada Yuan describes with great rapture in this meaty new profile of the “fairy godmother of rock”). Or their reasonable pricing scheme, which is expected to be in play here, too. Tickets to their show at the Hunter Valley’s Hope Estate Winery, for instance, start at just over $100. Fleetwood Mac at a winery? For less than a new pair of Nudies? My God, the world is beautiful sometimes.

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2. Because their music appeals to everybody.

Yes, your dad loves them. Your geezer uncle does, too. But even your five-year-old niece probably jams out to ‘Go Your Own Way’ in the back-seat of the car when it’s playing on Smooth FM. And every hipster musician worth his weight in rolling papers and organic tobacco is borrowing from them these days: According to producer Todd Edwards, Daft Punk tasked him with “picking up that West Coast vibe” that Fleetwood Mac pioneered in the ‘70s on Random Access Memories. Hot Chip is famous for their live cover of ‘Everywhere‘. Much-hyped LA DJs Classixx sample ‘Seven Wonders’ in the title track of their debut album, Hanging Gardens. And Vampire Weekend’s excellent new disc features this song, which undoubtedly shares its DNA with this song. (Side note: Stevie Nicks twirling a baton at 01:25!)

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3. Because they always make time for Australia.

And we all know how many superstars don’t. Fleetwood Mac — who first played here in 1977 — has a renowned kinship with its fans Down Under; our responsive fervor may not reach ABBA-level bonkers, but it’s certainly palpable. It’s clear they love us. Go love them back!

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4. Because they are sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.

The partner-swapping, bed-hopping, affair-having, cocaine-snorting, tantrum-throwing, mischief-making members of Fleetwood Mac went through a lot of shit. (In one telling anecdote from Cleveland radio personality John Gorman, each member was given personalised, hand-painted mirrors when they came to play a show in 1978. Former member Christine McVie’s response: “I’m afraid we’ll scrape the mirror down to the paint.”) But they’ve never shied away from talking about all that shit. In fact, they own their shit! Their mythology isn’t just the stuff of rock legend, but also a savvy marketing move. Go see their show and marvel at how this quartet of reformed druggie nymphos reined it in, and pulled off one of the greatest second (and third, and fourth) acts in music history.

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5. Because Mick Fleetwood’s balls, that’s why.

The Mac’s 1977 opus Rumours is one of the world’s best-selling albums; it’s claimed to have moved 40 million copies. That’s at least 40 million people who have gazed upon the sight of Mick Fleetwood’s low-hangers — actually a pair of toilet-chain balls — on the cover. It was a ballsy (hehe) move, one that paved the way for iconic, genital-peddling album covers from Jane’s Addiction and Nirvana. To this day, Fleetwood (who also appeared in drag on the cover of the band’s 1968 album, English Rose) never performs without a pair attached to his belt.

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6. Because you’ll hear one of the most uplifting songs ever recorded.

Let’s all time-travel back to January 1993, when The Mac performed their 1977 smash ‘Don’t Stop’ at Bill Clinton’s first inauguration. The video reveals Stevie Nicks (in her Klonopin era), singing alongside Michael Jackson and a young Chelsea Clinton, who doesn’t seem to understand the mechanics of clapping in time to the music.

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7. And one of the saddest.

Do I even need to name it? You’ve already got a lump in your throat, don’t you, you big sook?

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8. Because their mascot is a penguin.

Clarification: a penguin who carries a cane. And often wears dapper headgear, like a top hat or a beret. It’s almost certainly better and more entertaining company than The Grateful Dead’s dancing bears, who just look foolish (and are probably too baked to offer witty repartee). Also, watch this. $800 for a penguin! Man, inflation sucks.

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9. Because Stevie Nicks, bitches.

Don’t even try it, Rachel Zoe.

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Fleetwood Mac – Australian Tour 2013

Sunday November 10 — Sydney — Entertainment Centre
Monday November 11 — Sydney — Entertainment Centre (second Sydney show added!)
Sunday November 16 — Hunter Valley — Hope Estate Winery
Tuesday November 19 — Adelaide — Entertainment Centre
Friday November 22 — Perth — Perth Arena
Tuesday November 26 — Melbourne — Rod Laver Arena
Wednesday November 27 — Melbourne — Rod Laver Arena (second Melbourne show added!)
Saturday November 30 — Geelong — The Hill Winery
Monday December 2 — Brisbane — Entertainment Centre

Tickets go on sale 9am Thursday June 13.

For full details, head to www.livenation.com.au

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Nicholas Fonseca recently finished up as the acting deputy editor of Madison, and is a (sometime) master of film studies student at the University of Sydney. Prior to arriving in Sydney, he was based in New York City, where he worked for a decade as a writer and senior editor for Entertainment Weekly.