‘Yakuza Kiwami 2’ Is A Fun Small Business Simulator If You Ignore The Gang War

Gangster video game Yakuza Kiwami 2 tells the story of a retired yakuza being dragged back into the Japanese underworld, attempting to broker a peace between two warring factions, and then completely abandoning that mission in favour of managing a cabaret club.

I know it sounds fake, but I honestly stumbled into the club by accident.

I had been heading to Aoi bar to regroup with injured detective Kaoru Sayama, having just visited an information broker to find out who may have shot her. She had no great fondness for yakuza, and fraternising with law enforcement is bad for a gangster’s health, but circumstances beyond our control had forced us into an unlikely partnership.

On my way to meet Sayama, I came upon a man being talent-sniped outside Four Shine cabaret club. I frowned. Admittedly, this is my default facial configuration, but this time my expression came with purpose. Such tactics just didn’t seem honourable to me, though it wasn’t any of my business.

That is, until Four Shine’s owner Yuki came out and dragged me inside the club, mistaking me for her freshly poached employee.

The confusion was quickly cleared up, but it didn’t really matter. Four Shine had already spent a ton on advertising, and absolutely had to open that night if it was to survive. And if it were to open, it would need a manager to replace its sniped man.

I was literally a random guy off the street, and had never worked in a cabaret club before, but Yuki begged me to take on the job. I was Four Shine’s best chance.

I relented. I may not have asked for it, who was I to turn down such an opportunity in this economy? “I guess I’m in… But just this once.”

In Yakuza Kiwami 2’s cabaret club mini-game, you assign your hostesses to guests, matching their skills to the guest’s preferences. For example, a customer may prefer to spend time with a sexy woman who’s a good conversationalist, or a cute one who can party.

Matching an appropriate hostess to a guest will make them happy. The happier they are, the more money they spend, and the better your club’s reputation will be. It turns out that running a hostess club in mid-’00s Japan can be a real money-spinner.

Some use this cash on weapons and gear, kitting themselves out to plunge back into the violent world of gang warfare. I, however, spent it on eating at every single restaurant in Sotenbori and buying pretty outfits for my employees. Or at least stat-boosting ones.

There’s just something innately satisfying about honing your staff, fulfilling requests, and seeing a room full of happy people while the night away. It feels like being productive, as though you’ve done something right for once in your cursed existence.

That first night gave me a glimpse at what this ailing business could be, like a rescue puppy in need of some gentle love and care. I was building something lasting, while providing dozens of women with safe, gainful employment in a supportive workplace. I had the power to make things better.

“Just this once” quickly turned into “just once more”, and I soon forgot my life outside of Four Shine’s welcoming booths. Every night I’d don a suit and tie, welcoming our guests into the club. Every day I’d scroll through a gallery of fashion options, looking for the cutest hairstyle for Koyuki or funniest nails for Shoko.

Yakuza Kiwami 2 was no longer about gang warfare. It was about pleasing customers, befriending my colleagues, bringing on new talent and optimising my operation. I was a small local businessman, just trying to earn an honest living and leave something good behind.

I could settle down here. I could make a life here. Sure, various factions of yakuza are on the brink of war, and I left a cop shot and bleeding in a bar next door. My daughter is also waiting for me at an orphanage. But I’m happy, and isn’t that what they’d want for me?

You can’t keep running from your past, though. Eventually, it catches up with you.

Through hard work and perseverance, Four Shine had beaten a slew of competing hostess clubs to conquer the Fresh League, Paradise League and Executive League. (Apparently, leagues are a thing in Yakuza Kiwami 2‘s cabaret club industry.) We had only the Millionaire’s League stopping us from becoming the top club in all of Sotenbori.

Then Yuki decided to restock the bar. I assume she waited until we were completely dry before ordering enough alcohol for the next 10 years. This is the only possible explanation for why restocking took so long and apparently required Four Shine to stop opening. This management style is also an explanation for why Four Shine was failing so hard before I arrived.

I don’t blame her, though. Like me, she is but a victim of circumstance, bound by the world developer Sega has built.

I was happy at Four Shine. It was just me and my girls, working hard, making friends and pursuing our dreams. But as cosy and safe as this haven was, it was not to last. I had been unceremoniously tossed once more to the cold, harsh streets, locked out of my home by Sega’s insistence that I actually play Yakuza Kiwami 2 rather than spend all my time levelling up a horde of women in its mini-game.

It made no sense to me. Why cut me off from the best part of the game so abruptly? Yes, there is joy to be found in braining gangs of delinquents with bikes, but had I not made it clear that this was where I wanted to be? Yet there was nothing I could do.

So it was that, after many glittering nights spent at Four Shine, I begrudgingly picked up my burden and continued my interrupted trek to Aoi bar. Sayama seemed just fine without me, by the way.

I’ll be back, eventually. After I have done enough crime to satisfy Sega, I will return to Four Shine, conquer the Millionaire’s League and find my top hostess Koyuki (whose disappearance isn’t causing as much concern as it probably should). Like Simba returning triumphant to Pride Rock, I will take my place as king of the cabaret clubs, and I will never leave again.

But for now, it’s back to bloodshed and bludgeonings. Try as I might, it seems it’s never truly possible to retire from this life of crime.

Yakuza Kiwami 2 is available on PlayStation 4, and was released on PC earlier this year.