Gaming

Behold The Beautiful, Somewhat Batshit Relic That Is The 00s Xbox Forums

The 00s were a simpler time.

by Mitch Feltscheer  13 December 2018
xbox old forum

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Customer service on the internet as we know it today is a cold and austere wasteland where the majority of our consumer-based interactions are with bots and processors possessing all of the intellectual capacity of the Microsoft Word paperclip. Not too long ago though actual human being employees would legitimately reply to online queries, as these recently unearthed screenshots of a 2000s Xbox Live forum hilariously prove.

Video game app developer Cabel Sasser shared the series of forum posts on his Twitter earlier today, giving us breathtaking insight into late 00s forum culture. Specifically the still-alive-to-this-day custom of self-owns.

In the many screenshots, Cabel has captured wondrous moments of actual Microsoft employees explaining to users of the online gaming platform exactly why their accounts were suspended or banned altogether. Most of the reasons are pretty self-evident so the schadenfreude simply comes from the employee’s deadpan reiterations of these gamer’s (mostly children btw) crimes against Ts & Cs.

A lot of the complaints surround forced username changes with many up in arms they can’t have publicly displayed usernames like “HitlerWasGoodActually” or “*insert blatant racism here*” on a private company’s web service:

It’s not just wildly inappropriate usernames that Xbox Live users were desperately and hopelessly trying to defend but also blatant obscenities in all elements of online play:

I honestly do not know why it is so enjoyable seeing deadshits getting owned for their own racist and homophobic stupidity from nearly a decade ago, but it just is. And yes, I’ve of course saved the absolute best one for last:

Is there any better forum post than “Your son was exposing himself on camera in Uno”? No there is not.

Head to Cabel’s full thread here for more examples of gamers setting themselves up for extreme dunking and spare a thought for old mate from above who is still facing another 7981 years of his Xbox Live ban.