Culture

The Hill I Will Die On: Winter Is The Best Season And Summer Sucks

Feel like pure shit, just want Winter back.

by Michelle Rennex  1 September 2020
winter best summer sucks

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The Hill I Will Die On is a regular Junkee series in which we air our pettiest gripes. It should, of course, not be taken very seriously.

For some reason, Australians seem to think anyone who doesn’t absolutely love summer isn’t a true Aussie.

And look, I get it. summer is alright. We live in a very sunny country with some bomb-ass beaches. There’s no denying that. But I’m going to say it: summer has absolutely nothing on winter, the greatest season ever.

Summer Is Just Far Too Hot

If we were somewhere like New York, where the seasons are so drastically different, then I might agree that summer is better.

But we’re talking about Australia. A country where we rarely get snow, but everywhere faces ungodly heatwaves. Seriously, on December 19 last year, Nullarbor in South Australia reached 49.9°C. FOURTY NINE DEGREES. That’s basically half way to boiling point.

The sad thing is, that’s not even rare either. Sydney regularly reaches 40°C and above every summer, and the record-breaking temperatures just continue to rise thanks to global warming.

But for the coastline of Australia, temperatures below 0°C are pretty rare, so winter is never really uncomfortable. But summer is always uncomfortable. There is always those few days over Christmas and New Year, where it feels like your face is going to melt off.

Plus, winter is great because you can layer your clothes and eat soup without sweating up a storm. Honestly, no matter how much you crave a hearty stew or calming soup in summer, it almost feels wrong to sit down and eat some. Not to mention, drinking coffee or hot drinks of any kind is a real struggle in the warmer months.

Meanwhile, hot chocolate just hits differently when it’s cold. And you can eat ice cream and any other cold dish in winter without feeling bad at all. To be honest, ice cream tastes better in winter while your snuggled up in bed anyway. Don’t @ me.

You Can’t Even Enjoy The Beach When It’s Hot

There really is nothing like dipping into the chilly ocean on a scorcher of a day. But if the temperatures get too hot, the beach goes from a fun adventure to walking through the depths of hell holding hands with Satan.

Whenever temperatures get over 30°C, summer beach trips stop being fun. The beaches get crowded as hell, there’s heaps of kids pissing only a metre away from you in the water, and parking is an absolute slog. But worst of all is just how uncomfortably hot you end up feeling despite being so close to the water.

Taking your thongs off so you can walk normally on the sand just for you to realise the ground is burning hot? Disgusting.

Literally sweating while you lay in the sun because there’s no breeze and it’s too hot to walk into the water? Feral.

Opening your car door after three hours of it sitting in the sun, only for it to feel like a hot gust of oven air? Sickening.

The perfect beach weather is easily under 30°C, and you can do that in autumn, spring and even winter. There is simply no need for Summer.

Plus, You Can’t Escape Heat

My biggest pet peeve about summer heat is that you can never escape it.

Think about it, when you’re cold you can rug up. Throw on a jacket. A couple of layers. In summer, you can only take off so many clothes before you start to get in trouble by the law.

The only solace you can find in summer is by trying to source any form of air-conditioning. And if you don’t have that luxury at home, you have to find reasons to justify yet another trip to your local Westfields to soak up that bone-chilling freeze of the blasting AC.

Trying to sleep in the sweaty heat is even worse. You could honestly lay down with no clothes on, no blanket and a fan on full blast, and you’d still be too hot to blink without sweating.

Compare that to the beauty of winter, where you could have a fan going and the windows wide open and just be a giant, warm cinnamon bun wrapped up in the covers. Honestly, the best way to sleep is by being in a freezing room covered in a bunch of warm blankets.

Not to mention the rest of the problems with summer like all your taps spitting out hot water, no matter which temperature you set it to. Or all the flies that come out in full force even when it’s one of summer’s cooler days.

I mean, honestly. How could anyone with normal temperature senses ever think summer is better than winter? BRING HER BACK!!!