Winnie The Pooh Slasher Movie Re-Imagines Pooh And Piglet As Serial Killers
"Unfortunately, they had to eat Eeyore to survive".
We regret to inform you that Winnie the Pooh soon will be soon making his slasher film debut.
Yes, an actual movie called Winnie the Pooh: Blood And Honey wrapped earlier this month, and that’s just the world we live in now. We know this because some early stills from the movie, the most memorable of which shows a confronting rendering of Pooh and Piglet no doubt about to make this woman’s life hell.
The film’s director Rhys Waterfield, who also wrote the film, says the production see Pooh and Piglet re-imagined as villains who “go on a rampage” after being abandoned by Christopher Robin, who is apparently off to uni. “Christopher Robin is pulled away from them, and he’s not [given] them food, it’s made Pooh and Piglet’s life quite difficult,” Waterfield explained to Variety.
“Because they’ve had to fend for themselves so much, they’ve essentially become feral,” he added. “So they’ve gone back to their animal roots. They’re no longer tame: they’re like a vicious bear and pig who want to go around and try and find prey.” I’m sorry, but who commissioned this movie? Is nothing sacred? And when is it coming out?
Apparently, killer Pooh will not be wearing his cropped red shirt for copyright reasons and will instead be donning a lumberjack suit, while Piglet is set to be wearing black.
To add insult to injury, it looks as though Eeyore will not be joining the two on their murderous adventures. “They had to eat Eeyore to survive,” Waterfield said matter-of-factly in a statement about the film. What on earth.
As the movie stills have caused a bit of a frenzy online, Waterfield reckons he’s going to try and get the movie out as soon as possible. “Because of all the press and stuff, we’re just going to start expediting the edit and getting it through post production as fast as we can,” he says. “But also, making sure it’s still good. It’s gonna be a high priority.”
We’ve no news as of yet as to whether Tigger, Rabbit, or indeed, Roo, will be appearing in the film.