Whoever’s Behind This Paul Kelly Parody Twitter Account Deserves To Be Australian Of The Year
"The secret ingredient is gravy, baby!!!"
[Update, December 21, 2017]: Hello mates, it’s Junkee here, I hope you’re keeping well. It’s the 21st of December, and we have to re-share this piece.
–
Before we get cracking, chuck this club hit on. It’ll make sense in a minute.
Alright. As has been explored exhaustively by this publication for a long time, Twitter is both a vile cesspit of people’s most debased impulses and an oddly wonderful source of bizarre, off-beat humour that doesn’t really get aired anywhere else. It’s the only place where someone will take the time to give every single Pokemon new names like “dirt hot-dog” and “literally just a bird,” blend lyrics from Taylor Swift songs with Lovecraftian horror tropes, or take Dad culture to its logical, horrifying conclusion, and we’re all the better for that space to exist.
In that spirit, it gives me immense joy to present the latest of Twitter’s gloriously fucked-up creations. Over the last couple of weeks, a new account parodying iconic Australian singer/songwriter Paul Kelly has been active. For no reason at all — which is the best reason — it takes its entire shtick from ‘How To Make Gravy’, the song your dad puts on at Christmas when he’s had a few and wants to get misty-eyed, and posits that Kelly is immensely proud of the recipe for gravy contained in that song.
Making some of my gravy with the recipe I put in a song
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 12, 2015
RT if you love the song I wrote about gravy — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 9, 2015
Play the gravy song motherfuckers @TripleMSydney @TripleMMelb @TripleMAdelaide @TripleMBrisbane
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 9, 2015
Combined with lots of swearing, a complex relationship with Midnight Oil frontman Peter Garrett and It’s Always Sunny-levels of misanthropy, and you have @itsthegravyman. I don’t know which one of you is responsible for this, but I want to kiss you on your beautiful mouth.
It’s me – the gravy man.
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 9, 2015
It’s the gravy man, bitch! — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 6, 2015
Your gravy recipe is bullshit.
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 21, 2015
I am so angry that I didn’t think to do this. I am furious with myself.
Still living off that gravy money, bitches!!! — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 9, 2015
If you can’t handle the heat!! Get out of the kitchen while I’m making gravy with the recipe I put in a song!!
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 13, 2015
Some people ask how I make gravy. The recipe is in the song motherfucker!!!!!! — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 17, 2015
I will not tolerate online bullying. I wrote the gravy song.
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 19, 2015
He also seems to have an overwhelming fondness for the phrase “good shit,” which just makes sense. I don’t know why it makes sense, but it does.
Some crazy shit Annie Leibovitz made me do!!!! Good shit!!!! pic.twitter.com/zusv2N6eIW — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 13, 2015
Hahahha this was some wild shit!!!!! pic.twitter.com/g1S37Zq7hG
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 10, 2015
Good shit pic.twitter.com/NEctVnnRi8 — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 14, 2015
Can we show Paul Kelly what he’s inspired? I know he’s won umpteen awards and written some of Australia’s most beloved songs over the course of decades, but this has to be one of the better consequences of Paul Kelly having existed.
G
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 20, 2015
R — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 20, 2015
A
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 20, 2015
V — Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 20, 2015
Y
— Paul Kelly (@itsthegravyman) August 20, 2015