While You Were Sleeping, Robert Downey Jr Destroyed A Young Child’s Dreams

A-ha! Knowing you, Alan Partridge’s new movie trailer

Steve Coogan’s Alan Partridge is one of the great fictional creations of all time: a bumbling blowhard, all ego and ignorance. So the prospect of the former TV “star” and current Norwich radio host (“Back with soft-rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac…”) becoming a hostage negotiator in his upcoming movie — Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa — is, well, holy s**t, the comedic possibilities.

The film’s due out locally later this year, but, in the meantime, there is never not a good time for this:

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This is what happens when Robert Downey, Jr wears civilian clothes to meet a child

It’s every kid’s dream: a date with former Brat Packer and modern-day superhero, Robert Downey, Jr. But alas, 18-month-old Jaxson Denno was expecting someone a little more, well, Iron Man-ish. This photo captures the moment his mum told him that Downey, Jr wasn’t Damon Bradley the moustachioed jerk with a super-powered suit that he saw in the movies wasn’t real.

“He was confused because I kept telling him it was Iron Man, and he knew it wasn’t,” Jaxson’s mum, Heather, told People magazine. Sigh, poor stupid kid.

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The Replacements joined Twitter

Well, this was unexpected. The Replacements, ’80s/’90s rock icons led by drunk-poet Paul Westerberg, announced their first string of reunion shows overnight — their first in 22 years — and even launched a Twitter account to celebrate the occasion. That’s a strange move for a band who famously gave MTV the middle finger in 1986 with their hilariously shit-stirring ‘Bastards Of Young’ video, but, well, they’re old now. Obviously, no Australian dates have been announced yet, but we can hope.

This seems appropriate right now:

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Oh my goodness, Chris Brown got knocked the f**k out

As a lifelong Detroit Pistons basketball fan, this news makes me doubly proud. Rookie big-man, Andre Drummond, sent R&B singer Chris Brown’s stupid face straight down all the way to China with a ridiculous dunk during an ill-conceived overnight pick-up game.

Look at him fall!

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Some clearly local kid just created the greatest Jon Snow/John Farnham montage ever

Game Of Thrones’ shaggy-haired hero, Jon Snow: when it comes to rising up to the challenge of his rivals, he’s the best around, especially in the danger zone. Something  something, ’80s montages, mullets, John Farnham, BMX discotheque… and go.

Well done, Magooch86, wherever you are.