While You Were Sleeping, Michael Cera Turned Into A Lonely Paraplegic
Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with those new Arrested Development episodes.
Lena Dunham And Taylor Swift Had Another Girl Date:
It’s Memorial Day in America today (ie: slooooow news day), which, we assume, is kinda like ANZAC Day, but with a bit less beer. What do people do on Memorial Day? Remember stuff, probably, mainly soldiers. Also, if you’re pop superstar Taylor Swift or Girls‘ superstar Lena Dunham, you call up your best friend for brunch. Here’s a terrible twitpic from some terrible stalker-fan who needs to hit up a photography/stalker course or something:
_
Michael Cera Is A Lonely Paraplegic In Gregory Go Boom:
He may have just made his long-awaited return as the uncomfortably awkward George Michael in the new Arrested Development episodes, but it seems that wasn’t enough of a dramatic stretch for Michael Cera. The 24-year-old stars in the newly released 17-minute short film Gregory Go Boom (his second for the Jash YouTube Channel following the equally ambitious Brazzaville Teen-ager), in which he plays an awkward, uncomfortable and, let’s be honest, dick-ish paraplegic with great glasses. Written and directed by Janicza Bravo, the film comes across like a Coen Bros-ish take on The Sessions; in other words, perfect morning viewing! (NO, NOT AT ALL). Watch the entire thing below, just don’t expect to laugh too much.
_
Amanda Bynes Kinda Apologised To Rihanna, Announced Rap Career, Plans To Sue Lots Of People:
Just yesterday, we offered a round-up of Amanda Please‘s weekend shenanigans, in which she threw a bong (or vase) off a balcony, got arrested, claimed the NYPD assaulted her, and harassed Rihanna. It was a busy weekend. Overnight, Bynes got back to her Twitter to set the record straight with two very long posts. These were the important bits:
“For once and for all, this is the last thing I’ll say about the mistaken arrest. I’m suing NYPD for illegally entering my apartment, lying about drugs on me and lying about me tampering with non existent drug paraphernalia, then I’m suing for being put into a mental hospital against my will, then locked up overnight for coming home after a facial and working out with my trainer like the good girl that I am.”
“I’m free forever! You can’t lock up an innocent person! Thanks for caring! Look forward to seeing me in music videos! I’m getting in shape and getting a nose job! I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper!”
“Rihanna and I met and I’m sure we’ll be in a music video together one day!”
“Why does Rihanna smoke weed and not get in trouble for it but I smoke tobacco and people think I’m on drugs?”
“I’m so offended but I am so educated that I know cops cannot illegally enter my apartment, sexually harass me, arrest me, take me to a MENTAL HOSPITAL, then lock me up for a crime I didn’t commit. I’m suing them all for this upsetting nightmare.”
Cool, so sounds like she’s back to normal?
_
State Rail Thinks You Lousy Kids Are Mosquitoes:
Graffiti, all the cool kids are doing it. That’s why Aussie cities these days look so much like that ’80s Ramones album cover. NSW State Rail isn’t taking this lying down, though: in an effort to counter our craft-y habits, they’re looking to introduce high-pitched mosquito devices in “graffiti hot spots” such as rail depots and subway tunnels that emit an annoying “high-frequency buzzing noise that only people aged 13-24 can hear”. Interesting approach, but that description just sounds like Skrillex. Try again, State Rail.
_