While You Were Sleeping, Mariah Carey Made A Huge Mistake

Watch Jean-Claude Van Damme Do The Most Epic Splits Of His Life

If you trip on over to Grantland, you will find a list called ‘The 15 Greatest Splits of Jean-Claude Van Damme‘. It is a mighty list, which proves by its end not only that Jean-Claude Van Damme is excellent at the splits, but that many entire scenes — and perhaps even a few movies — were engineered merely as a vehicle to showcase them.

I wish, I wish I wish I wish, that this video was a personal self-help vlog from Van Damme, about mind over body and the strength of the human spirit.

Unfortunately it is a Volvo ad. It is still good, though.

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Melrose Place Dubbed With Emojis Is Perfect

Everything should be dubbed with emojis.

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Watch Russell Crowe In The Trailer For Noah

Noah is based on a short chapter of critically-acclaimed novel The Bible, focusing on one man’s struggle to save the world by pairing up animals and putting them on a boat.

The US$130 million film was directed by Darren Aronofsky, co-stars Anthony Hopkins, Jennifer “the snakes are coming too?” Connelly and Emma Watson, and will be offending many people when it comes out on March 23.

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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Denies Wanting To “Eat P***y”

This keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Remember last week, when Toronto Mayor Rob Ford finally admitted to smoking crack, under threat from an allegedly circulating video that shows him smoking crack?

He’s back in the news this morning after a media scrum in which he denied a few other allegations: namely that he was visited in his office by a prostitute (according to Ford, Alana is a friend and not a prostitute), and that he had told a former staffer, Olivia Gondek, that “he wanted to eat her pussy”.

If you press play on the video below, you fill find the following words exiting the mouth of the mayor of Toronto: “The last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. Olivia Gondek. I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much.”

Good luck with that marriage, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford!

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Mariah Carey Screwed Up, And She Is Very, Very Sorry

Before you read this open letter, which was posted to Facebook yesterday, a bit of background.

1) Mariah Carey is still releasing music.

2) Her new song, ‘The Art Of Letting Go’, was meant to go live at a Facebook listening party at 11.11am on the 11th of the 11th. This was followed by an appearance on Jimmy Fallon a few days later.

3) The wrong mix of the song ‘The Art Of Letting Go’ was uploaded to Facebook on November 11. This was the fault of a newbie sound engineer, who, if you stay very quiet and listen very hard, you can probably still hear crying somewhere.

4) Between Facebookgate and the Jimmy Fallon show there were two days of extreme stress for her staff, who had to act normal and like everything was fine and like the world wasn’t a swirling miasma of impending catastrophe that could drop at any moment because the wrong mix of a song had been uploaded to Facebook and maybe Mariah would find out before going on TV.

5) She calls her fans her “lambs”.

Prepare to feel different emotionally.

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Hey Lambs, I have to tell you this, I can’t do what I always do and say nothing at all. It is 3:30am (11.14), and I’m sitting on my bathroom floor, very upset by some news I just got from a close friend and employee. Lucky her, she was “nominated” to deliver this message to me after the long awaited 11.11 moment and the Jimmy Fallon show, knowing how upset I would be. Not because the world has come to an end or something, but because this 11.11 listening party was so important to me on a core level as a musician, who cares so much about how my fans hear my music for the first time that I didn’t even allow a snippet to be released until 11 on the dot.

To cut to the chase, a mistake was made by a brand new sound engineer whose only task was to press the space bar and upload the song to Facebook, while my team, and an incredible group of people from Facebook, partied while listening to the properly mixed & mastered version of “The Art of Letting Go” on repeat from my iPod on my home speakers. Clearly, I was focused on answering your questions during the Q&A. There was no reason for me to wonder if the final mix we were listening to in that room together was different than what you were listening to!!!!! Like I always say, I am involved with every record I make, from the inception to the completion of the song. Every nuance of the beat or vocal matters to me. Even if the differences may seem slight to you, I had put time, effort and emotions into “The Art of Letting Go” and the real mix is how I intended for you to hear the song.

Rather than remove the old version from Facebook (the iTunes version is the real one), I just figured I would put up the real mix and allow you to listen to it back-to-back, should you choose to do so and tell me what you think the differences are.

I want you to hear it like you’re hearing it for the first time with me, and I will answer any questions that you have, pertaining to the song. You know that I don’t comment on gossip, I typically don’t respond to things like this or go into so much detail to the world, but this is something I’m upset about and I wish I would have known sooner.

There’s no doubt in my mind that this sounds like a self absorbed diva on a “woe-is-me” tangent about a couple of ad libs or some other triviality, but the reality is this is me, focusing solely on the record, wanting you to hear it and experience it the right way. I love and appreciate you so much for taking the time to even glance at this 20-page “diva in distress” thesis. Thank you for letting me vent, this is another reason why Facebook rocks! You’ll be hearing from me soon. Here is the REAL version of “The Art of Letting Go”. 

Answers these questions for me:
1. Can you hear a difference at all?
2. Can you see why I like this version better?
3. Where can you hear the differences?
4. Does the song affect you different emotionally after hearing the real version?

Let’s talk about it, I’ll be here waiting!

Get “The Art of Letting Go” on iTunes now:
http://smarturl.it/iLettingGo

(Yes, the REAL version was on iTunes from the beginning!)