While You Were Sleeping, Beyonce Announced That She’s Touring

Mrs Carter is coming to Australia

Time to pencil in Beyonce amongst all those other names like Pink, Rihanna and Taylor Swift in your 2013 pop diva concert schedule — over the weekend, Queen B confirmed she’ll be bringing her Mrs Carter World Tour to Oz in October and November (it’s her first local tour since 2009, aka ‘Before Blue Ivy’). Alongside all the great songs, pyrotechnics and costumes, I guess you can expect something like this:

The announced shows are as follows, but look for more to be added in the coming weeks:

Melbourne: Tuesday October 22 @ Rod Laver Arena
Brisbane: Monday October 28 @ Entertainment Centre
Sydney: Thursday October 31 @ Allphones Arena
Adelaide: Tuesday November 5 @ Entertainment Centre
Perth: Friday November 8 @ Perth Arena

Tickets go on sale at 10am on Friday July 19 via ticketek.com.au and livenation.com.au

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Holy s**t, what happened to Andy Dwyer?

Chris Pratt, the real dude behind Parks & Recreation‘s lovable layabout Andy Dwyer, has been hard at work preparing for his role on Marvel’s upcoming Guardians Of The Galaxy movie. This is what he Instagrammed overnight:

I don’t know, six months with no beer seems like a high price for a few abs.

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Sorry guys, you’re probably not gonna get a Lone Ranger sequel

So, it turns out you probably weren’t the only person who didn’t see the critically-despised blockbuster over the weekend. The Johnny Depp film is being called “the biggest bomb of the summer” (and, more dramatically, “everything that is wrong with Hollywood“) after posting just a $48.9 million opening weekend box office in the US, which isn’t good considering its $250 million production budget and $175 million worldwide marketing spend. We’re not great at maths, but that resulting number sounds like it probably has a ‘minus’ sign in front of it. The Hollywood Reporter indicates that Disney’s set to take a $150 million loss from the film, and Johnny Depp may not be allowed back into Disneyland ever again.

Uh, I kinda wanna see it now.

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Andy Murray won Wimbledon, and no one can believe it

Andy Murray — the floppy-haired, squishy-faced, once underachieving Scotsman — won the Wimbledon title with an incredible straight sets victory over #1 seed Novak Djokovic (6-4, 7-5, 6-4) overnight, although it did take him about 500 match points to finally stop choking like a little baby and just win already. In a completely unnecessary fact that everyone keeps reporting, Murray becomes the first Briton to claim the tournament in 77 years, which is what England says when it’s trying to steal a Scottish victory. Braveheart wouldn’t be too happy.

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