“We’re Doing A Sequel”, Says Goonies Director Richard Donner

“Goonies never say die!” seems way to perfect a lead-in to this news piece, so instead I’ll go with “WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING THIS EVERYONE IS SO OLD.”

The latest installment from Hollywood’s continuous saga of not leaving things alone was announced over the weekend, when TMZ ambushed famed popcorn director Richard Donner over those endless sequel rumours surrounding his 1985 kids’ classic, The Goonies.

“Are you gonna make another comic book movie?” TMZ’s way too invested cameraman asked the director.

“If you call Goonies a comic book,” Donner replied. “We’re doing a sequel.”

“Are any of the stars gonna return?” asked the dumbstruck camera nerd, after catching his breath for a few shocked silent seconds.

“Hopefully all of them,” said Donner, casually ending this absolutely ridiculous exchange.

Sure, as Gawker points out, star Sean Astin “confirmed” a Goonies sequel way back in 2007, but this version sounds infinitely stranger. Keep a look out for that upcoming kids flick, where a  43-year-old Sean Astin, a 42-year-old Corey Feldman, a 46-year-old Josh Brolin, a 43-year-old Martha Plimpton, and a 42-year-old Asian stereotype named ‘Data’ find love, courage and adventure during an epic quest for buried treasure. That’s not gonna be creepy at all.