Gaming

Weezing Has Been Transformed Into An Honest-To-God Bong For Pokemon: Sword And Shield

Apparently it's a "wealthy industrialist" Weezing, to which I say: rubbish.

by Joseph Earp  8 August 2019
Weezing as featured in the new Pokemon game

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Despite being mythic, fantastical creatures, Pokemon have always had pretty obvious real world analogues. Pikachu is a mouse. Squirtle is a turtle. Wooloo is, surprise surprise, a sheep. Mr. Mime is the last thing you see before you die.

Well, in keeping with that firm tradition, the Pokemon Company has just unveiled a new form for classic monster Weezing, a brand new version of the character that has been modelled on a goddamn bong for some reason.

Feast your eyes, folks, on “Galar Weezing”, a new creature available in the forthcoming games Pokemon: Sword and Shield.

Of course, Nintendo wanted to at least pretend what they were actually going for was a wealthy industrialist look. The “Galar” region is an analogue for the United Kingdom, and clearly, “wealthy, upper-class baron” is one of the first things that the folks over at Nintendo think of when they start brainstorming English stuff.

But on the other hand: that thing is obviously a fucking bong. There is no way that people who create humanoid monsters are unaware of the silhouette cut by a bong — you simply cannot convince me that the offices at the Pokemon Company don’t reek of kush. This isn’t some Rorshach test where you either see an antagonist from a Dickens novel or a miracle of glass, bong water and weed. It’s absolutely the latter, and literally everybody who has clapped their eyes on it knows the truth.

Anyway, because the internet is the internet, Pokemon fans and tricksters alike have jumped on the Weezbong and are shoehorning it into a series of excellent memes.

What other pocket horrors await us? A creature fashioned in the shape of a tax return form? A hideous half-worm, half-clown? An adorable melting icecap with eyes and a mouth? Guess we’ll have to wait till Pokemon Sword and Shield drop this November 15 to find out.