Wash off your O-Week hangover like a boss

O-Week is a time of great mystery. It's probably the first week of the year when your academic devotion and general enthusiasm are at their highest, while at the exact same time you're probably getting really drunk at the tavern amidst all the festivities and not feeling particularly studious.  I'm not here to judge, and personally I think happy hour and inflatable castles go together well: you put a bouncy castle on the table and I will be there in full uniform. Here are some tips on destroying your day-one hangover.

Just don't drink coffee

We all know that excessive alcohol consumption leaves you crazy dehydrated in every part of the body, and it's a given that at university-level partying you're chugging water like a camel from the moment you wake up the next day. Water is the best option, which is why you shouldn't try to tackle a double espresso at 9am. You might briefly think you're getting back on the ball, but everything below your neck is going to organise a mutiny.

You're not too good for a tactical yack

Let's talk about vomit. Nobody likes it, we all do it, and we all know that one mate who says they've never vomited is totally full of it. There’s no pleasant way to write about the self-induced regurgitation of last night's bender, and we're not going to dwell on it. Just know that it's a method that has withstood the test of time: it works, and the relief you feel outweighs the cost of intense handwashing.

Eat something green, if only for principle  

We've all heard it before: "A big greasy breakfast is what you need!" This is a lie, and a testament to the power of comfort food. If you're in the throes of a major hangover, you're not going to be able to stomach a big breakfast in between all the moaning and self-pity. I hate to say it, but those posters in the nurse's primary school office were always spot on – fruit and vegetables are just generally decent blokes. If your stomach, liver and kidneys have just gotten off night-shift filtering half a litre of vodka, the only thing you'd be wise to introduce is a small amount of natural fibre and easily digested mush, as opposed to frying up a lordly stack of bacon.

Anti-heartburn tablets are just as great as penicillin

While we're talking about posters in primary school nurse's offices, let's talk about high school chemistry. The most valuable thing we were ever taught about is antacids. I'm pretty sure that human happiness has actually got something to do with the pH levels of your stomach acid, but all I know is that Quick-Eze solves basically every digestive problem ever.  Because it's the responsible thing to do, I should point out that everyone's body is different and this might not be the cure-all for every reader, but beer and wine specifically increase gastric acid production, which is obviously what antacids are made to combat. So, go antacids.

Misery loves company

At the end of it all, even the best nuggets of hangover-related wisdom are unable to truly cure a hangover, and only soften the blow. This means that your next best bet is hooking back up with your O-Week gang and going through it all together, because the physical consequences of alcohol are that much worse without friends around to constantly remind you how badly hungover you are, and how also how good Saturday night was. Just remember to rest up. 

Jonathon Davidson

Jonathon is studying journalism at Murdoch University in Perth.

Image: I Woke Up Today, Flickr Creative Commons license