News

Sorry Aliens, We Don’t Have Time For You

If this information was coming at any other time, I’m sure we’d all be freaked out. But I just don’t have the brain capacity to deal with this right now.

by Ky Stewart  27 July 2023
aliens ufo

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For years we’ve been yearning for the existence of aliens, constantly trying to verify UFO sightings, and figure out what is going on in Area 51. So why is it that now we’ve finally got pretty damning testimonies about the existence of alien life and we can’t be bothered to care about it? Because the world is falling apart and we don’t have the energy to care about new alien stuff. 

In testimony to the US Congress, a former Air Force intelligence officer told lawmakers they’ve been kept in the dark about a longstanding program that recovers and reverse engineers UFOs. The most chilling thing the whistleblower, David Grusch, told Congress was that “non-human biologics” were found in the UFO aircrafts and that the US government is in possession of them. Totally cool and normal.

Former US Navy pilot Ryan Graves told the hearing that he knew the objects were not US aircrafts because they “were staying completely stationary in Category 4 hurricane winds”, then accelerating to “supersonic speeds”. 

If this information was coming at any other time, I’m sure we’d all be freaked out. But I just don’t have the brain capacity to deal with this right now.

Wait, What Is The Congressional Hearing Into UAPs / UFOs?

The not-so-shocking claims were heard in a US House Oversight Committee which is part of Congress’ continual probing into UAPs (unidentified aerial phenomena) — the term the US government uses for UFOs. 

The theories that we’ve been visited by aliens have been swirling around for years. It’s been a common theme in pop culture for decades and now the US government is keen to figure out what all the fuss is about, especially after all those filmed sightings. 

Grusch is one of the main whistleblowers testifying against the government in the congressional hearing. He was joined by two former fighter pilots with first-hand accounts of UFOs. Grusch has accused the US government of a coverup and purposefully hiding information on aliens and UFOs from lawmakers and the public. The Pentagon has denied any claims of a coverup. 

Aliens, We Just Don’t Care You’re Here 

Sorry ET but your arrival here couldn’t have come at a worse time. If you wanted some attention and interviews, you might get a rude shock because we’re too busy dealing with rising cost of living, rents increases, housing shortages, political turmoil, and Barbie to care about you.

In fact, Lizzo seems to be the only one who is really churned up about this news. 

So we’re just expected to keep paying rent like normal?

What about the aliens? Will they be paying rent? 

Seriously, keep this information to yourself.

I like to believe that the aliens are here just to see Beyoncé and dance with us to ‘Alien Superstar’. 

This would actually explain what happened to Mitch McConnell.

Something that is very funny and very modern about this news is that people are finding out about the existence of aliens through Pop Crave and Pop Base. 

Sorry aliens, we just don’t have time for you. Come back later. 

Ky is a proud Kamilaroi and Dharug person and writer at Junkee. Follow them on X.