As a counter to the reinvention movies that I maybe-probably ruined for some of you, here’s a list of films that are actually inspirational. These films aren’t regularly held up as models of how to change your life, but unlike many self-help films, they make me feel better, not worse.

I ask a lot of the films I watch. While I forgive a lot — often too much — in a good-looking film, I am really interested in considering not just how they look, but what they say. We all know that the images around us influence our perceptions of the world. We also know how insidious some cultural messages are, as they creep in and sometimes past us without us even realising.

For instance, you watch a film that seems enjoyable and lovely and makes you want to change your life right this instant. It shows you how easy it can be – basically, just add water and stir. But, this might set up expectations that can’t be met, right? Life is messy and, honestly, things do not always go your way, everything does not always work out. The common thread in many of these films is that they’re about defying expectations — about making a change, taking control of your life — which is terrifying and remarkable.

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Little Miss Sunshine (2004)

This dark comedy is about finding your place in the world, even if you feel like/are a bit of an oddball. The family is made up of people who struggle in life, and it is really delightful how hard they try to encourage the youngest, Olive, to be herself. The seven-year-old wants to be beauty queen, so, even though they know that she is not the typical entrant, they head on a two-day road trip to get her to a pageant. The film has some incredibly sad points, balanced by humour like in Olive’s very unexpected talent performance.

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Thelma and Louise (1991)

This is a film about the BFF of your dreams. This is not just the person who you would call to help you bury a body, it’s the person who would kill for you. This is not only who you would go on the run with, it’s the friend who you would die with. I would never advise driving your car off a cliff, but there is an exhilarating freedom in that final scene. These women make some bad choices but face them together; they take control of their story and make an unexpected and bold decision.

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Billy Elliot (2000)

In the midst of the mid-80s coal strike in northern England, 11-year-old Billy discovers a love of ballet. And he is really, really good. His father and brother are resistant to the idea of Billy becoming a *gasp* professional dancer, but he continues lessons with his teacher in secret. The film pivots when his father sees Billy dancing and realises that he has a real gift, and commits to help him get a place the Royal Ballet School. I challenge you to remained dry-eyed.

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Aliens (1986)

Ripley is a go-to ass-kicking hero. In Alien she saves the cat, but in Aliens she ups the stakes by taking responsibility for Newt. This girl was the only one smart enough to get the hell out of dodge and survive the attack that killed everyone else at the colony. Ripley enters the hive to save her, faces the alien queen, and does a much better job of protecting those around her than any of the highly-trained marines sent on the mission.

She says what she thinks, especially to vile Burke. When he points out the financial implications of destroying the facility, she retorts “They can bill me”. Later, he complains “I thought you’d be smarter than this”, and she says “I’m happy to disappoint you”. She is the clever, tough and caring person who does what needs to be done.

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Matilda (1996)

An incredibly clever child faces horrible neglectful parents and is bullied by the terrifying principal Miss Trunchbull. But, Matilda taught herself to read as a very young child, and knowledge is power. More than Matilda’s special talents, what really stands out in this film is the power of kindness. Of course we are meant to love Miss Honey, Matilda’s ally and the one who cares for her. But Matilda returns this kindness and the two form a bond that makes them family

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Fight Club (1999)

Yes, really. Fight Club is about more than the desire to beat and be beat up. It is anti-capitalism and anti-consumerism, uniting members in the realisation that they have no control over their life and the world that they live in. It is about waking up and taking action, seeking equality and also revenge on the people who make the choices. The violence evokes a different response post-9/11 and the Global Financial Crisis, but the film is still very relevant. While this satire is metaphorical, the way that the fight clubs make people look at their lives and make a change is unsettling and stirring.

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Harry Potter (2001-2011)

This franchise is all about the inspiring vibes. It’s a fantastic (okay, sometimes over-emphasised) exploration of friendship and the family you make, about finding your people. It is the ultimate indulgence of the fantasy of being whisked away to a new and wonderful world, of realising that, hey, you were not just weird but special. There are so many messages in the film about wrong versus right — and the sometimes tricky problem of working out what actually is right — and all those Gryffindor qualities like loyalty and bravery.

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Cool Runnings (1993)

This film is about two things that make it seem likely I wouldn’t enjoy it: it’s based on a true story and about sport. But Cool Runnings is great fun. The bobsled team training for the winter Olympics in sunny Jamaica is all about taking risks, challenging expectations and camaraderie. It is a charming mix of drama and humour. And it has John Candy.

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Gattaca (1997)

This sci-fi film is about a dark but believable future, where our roles in the world are pre-determined and fixed. Gattaca is about striving to be more than you are told you can be. Vincent is classified as someone who can only ever have a menial job. But he’s smart and driven, and goes to extreme lengths to achieve his goal of travelling to outer space. The film is about a world that is inflexible, a system that is impenetrable, and the seemingly impossible feat of successfully beating it.

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Strictly Ballroom (1992)

This is a film about following your passion and dreaming big, even when it’s not easy. Scott tries to do it his own way and realises along the way that it wasn’t about winning for him, but the love of dance. It’s an unabashed celebration of individuality. This makes it sound naff, but the film is actually really funny and charming. There is also a self-conscious use of over-the-top stereotypes, but a real sincerity in the portrayal of Scott and Fran.

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The Craft (1996)

The Craft is a film I watched countless times as a teenager. It really gets the whole ‘finding your place’ thing, as well as the complexities of female friendships. The witchcraft is obviously excellent, but it also reflects the desire for autonomy when you’re not quite an adult, but dealing with pretty mature things.

The film is about discovering power, and deciding how to use it. Obviously the coven is easily corrupted by selfish desires, like erasing Bonnie’s scars, but Sarah rebels. Sarah is our hero, but who wasn’t quietly impressed by Nancy?

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Groundhog Day (1993)

Phil Connors (played by Bill Murray) is a dick. The TV meteorologist thinks he is all-that, and he gets his comeuppance when he has to re-live February 2 countless times. As he replays this day he gradually learns to be less of a terrible person, and after several inventive attempts at dying, he works to do as many good deeds as possible.

Eventually, he lives out the perfect day and life continues in a linear manner. The moral lesson here is unrelenting, but you still get a cozy feeling watching it unfold. It reminds you that being a good person might sometimes be hard, but is ultimately worthwhile

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Kate Robertson is not that kind of doctor. She is a part-time academic who also writes on art and culture, and is currently working on a passion project about women in horror.