I’ve always been fascinated by the happy, carefree couple bathed in the glow of the sunset at the end of the movie. But what about that unknown space after the first kiss, after the first leap of faith? Are they still in love? Did they drift apart? This unknown space is where you sit when your relationship moves from high school to uni.

It’s commonly said that high school relationships never last but honestly it depends person to person. Suddenly you’re no longer looking after yourself; you’ve got to make room in your life for another and trust me, it can get pretty squishy. The transition from single to taken is hard enough; add in uni, assessments and a whole new environment, things are bound to get complicated.

There are a lot of things happening at the same time, and most of them are out of your control. I’m in my third year of uni, I’m still with my high school boyfriend and it’s not all doom and gloom. If anything, it’s been an experience of great change and growth as I learned how to navigate being in a relationship while dealing with the pressures of reality.

Grow Individually And Together

My boyfriend and I had only been dating a year when we were both accepted and attended the same university. While we were more than happy to hang out together, we agreed uni was a time and place to build new friendships within our respective degrees and social circles. He was an anchor to a familiar place, and I reluctantly had to venture out on my own.

We were going from seeing each other five days a week in a rather enclosed high school environment, to an enormous campus with that element of freedom we had never experienced. It’s good to grow into your own person while remembering that your partner is also doing the same thing. Keep communicating and checking in with each other to continue being on the same ground.

Take It Easy

Trust is key when it comes to relationships. You’ve probably adapted to the high stress levels you experience when you think about assessments, exams, attendance and managing a sleeping pattern (if one even exists). These stresses will impact your relationship, maybe generate some unrealistic expectations in your head about how things should be going (guilty over here!). The best thing to do is cut yourself some slack and reset. Take a step back and re-evaluate. You’ll have to do this a lot.

Remember that communication is so important. If you’re anxious, stressed, upset or feeling lost, talk to your partner. Neither of you are mind readers – they’re probably feeling the same. In order for things to work, you’ll need to separate your uni mindset from your relationship mindset. Spend some time together and enjoy the small moments without worrying about that 3000 word essay. Try it!

Don’t Take Each Other For Granted

You’ve heard it before, and I’m saying it again: just say “I appreciate you” every once in a while. It’s so easy to slip into a routine of relying on each other and getting mad when things don’t go according to your plan. I recall at one point in our relationship when the small things like forgetting to pick me up, order dinner, or organise one date would push me over the edge.

My final piece of advice: forget sunsets and the perfect relationship. Treat each other as you’d want to be treated and enjoy the time you have together. Being happy and comfortable with each other is all that matters.

Sofia Casanova is a cappuccino enthusiast with a love for words. When she’s not studying for her Public Communication degree at UTS, she’s glued on her Twitter feed (@sofiaecasanova) or attempting to be aesthetic for her bookstagram (@theliterarycasanova). 

(Lead image: One Tree Hill/CW)