Please Enjoy This Video Of Trump Boarding Air Force One With Toilet Paper Stuck To His Shoe
Did he shit in the limo?
In a thrilling and Definitely Newsworthy story for your Friday afternoon, please enjoy this video of President Trump boarding Air Force One with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
The video, which is an 18-second masterpiece, shows Trump emerging from a limousine and climbing the stairs to his plane as, unbeknownst to him, a forlorn piece of toilet paper straggles from his heel. It is fluttering in the wind, as if to make a desperate final bid to escape from the giant turd it finds itself attached to.
And behold, at the video’s 17-second mark our faithful toilet paper gets its chance. As Trump reaches the top of the stairs and pauses to wave to onlookers, the paper becomes dislodged, coming to rest in a soggy heap on the plane’s doorstep, alone at last. Honestly, the whole scene is poetic.
I honestly cannot believe it’s taken this long for Trump to board Air Force One with a full strand of toilet paper trailing from his shoe. pic.twitter.com/hLWrqKqsIK
— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) October 5, 2018
Poetic, and also mysterious. I mean, when you stop to think about it, how did such a hefty string of toilet paper remain attached to the President for the entire long journey from the bathroom to the limo and then the plane? Did the many black-suited attendants featured in the video simply miss it? Did Trump’s bodyguard(s) deem public humiliation too minimal a threat to someone who is constantly bringing public humiliation upon himself? Or, as a certain anonymous Managing Editor of Junkee put it: did Trump, uh, shit in the limo?
Anyway, I believe I have now run out of words I can write about this wad of unsanitary scum, and also the piece of toilet paper attached to his shoe. Have a nice weekend, and let this be a warning to check your shoes carefully before leaving the bathroom.