Culture

TikTok Has Invented An Imaginary Role-Playing Game Called ‘Dabloons’

"why tf are cats running an economy on tiktok and why do i have 60 dabloons"

by Charles Rushforth  28 November 2022

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Forget Call of Duty and don’t even think about Pokémon, because the only game the kids want to play these days is exclusive to the most powerful gaming console known to man: the human imagination.

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Like a game of Dungeons and Dragons boasting over a million players, TikTok has fallen in love with Dabloons: an imaginary role-playing game created by TikTok usersthat uses your personal timeline to progress the narrative. If you’re looking to get in on the action, or simply need to understand why your TikTok is packed with badly-photoshopped pictures of cats robbing strangers in broad daylight, here’s a quick guide to everyone’s second favourite cat RPG.

How On Earth Do You Play ‘Dabloons’?

Getting lost in this cat fantasy world is as simple as watching a few videos slapped with the tag #dabloons, and then sitting back and letting the algorithm do its thing! Like a Choose Your Own Adventure story that, uh, chooses for you.

As the Dabloons algorithm roars into life and cat photos begin to dominate your news feed, it’s important to remember that the game relies on imaginary rules to work. So while there’s nothing stopping you from pretending you’re a millionaire, it’s against the spirit of the game to fudge your numbers.

With that out of the way, the basic rules are pretty simple. Dabloons is named after the titular currency at the heart of the game; a riff on Doubloons, Spain’s official tender in the 18th century.

As Dabloon-related videos appear on your timeline, you will either be rewarded random amount of titular currency, or have your wallet emptied by unfortunate events like robberies. You can even encounter shops that sell unique items or weapons for your character where you can spend your hard-earned coin.

For example, the first video I encountered a wizard kitty who gifted me with 25 dabloons, which I later spent on a magic elixir that helped me repel thieves.

While there’s no official way to keep track of your winnings and losses players have been known to utilise the notes app on their iPhone to keep a running tally of their inventory, with more devoted members of the community using complicated Excel spreadsheets to maintain their numbers across the game.

As you descend the Dabloons rabbit hole, gameplay gets way more esoteric — allowing you to make down-payments on university tuition or even run for president.

So Why Is Inflation Affecting Dabloons?

As anyone who has inhabited a schoolyard already knows, the problem with imaginary games are people who push the boundaries of the fantasy reality beyond reason.

For example, players got heated after new users started making videos gifting strangers with ludicrous amounts of dabloons, warning that the trend could cause crippling inflation for the cat currency. Following the financial crisis, a hard rule emerged banning users from gifting more than 100 dabloons per video in attempt to keep the imaginary economy in check.

Hilariously, a cat version of the Australian Tax Office also developed, featuring cats in suits demanding players with suspiciously inflated incomes to pay their dues. Perhaps all this new government revenue will result in a high-speed train network, or something.

The (Dabloons) Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Suffice to say, the introduction of income tax scheme into a game predominantly played by children was not entirely well received. Users protesting the introduction of late-stage capitalism into Dabloons made their grievances known by donating their hard-earned coins into resistance movements aimed at toppling the government.

In the natural course for any discourse on TikTok, Dabloons has evolved from a game about soup-dealing cats into surreptitious lessons on Marx and class consciousness for children. Hooray!

However basic Dabloons might appear to spectators, the commitment players have to this fantasy of medieval cats is astounding. The kind of organic, user-generated content on display here has undoubtedly attracted the jealously of mainstream videogame publishers, proving once and for all that you don’t need the latest PlayStation or fancy graphics to have a good time.

Charles Rushforth is a staff writer at Junkee. Follow him on Twitter.