Culture

Threads Is Like Twitter But Without The Trauma. What’s The Point?

Sorry Threads, but I like my apps unsafe.

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I’m just going to say this? I still love Twitter. 

I know what you’re thinking. Why are you talking about Twitter? Have we not made the move to Threads? The fresh new app that looks a lot like Twitter, albeit more whimsical and safe?

Let me explain something. I will never delete my Twitter account. I don’t care how bad it gets — I will continue to fire off my witticisms into the abyss, to be vulnerable to unmoderated content, and endure Elon Musk’s horrible jokes, and I refuse to apologise for it.

Haters will say that you should be deterred by Elon Musk’s recent move to limit the number of tweets that users can see per day, but I for one welcome this development. Life is all about smashing achievable goals, and being able to scroll until I hit a designated quota (600 a day, in my case) will only improve my mental health.

Why are the limits happening? Well, Musk reckons AI start-ups are currently scraping Twitter data “extremely aggressively”, and that’s bad news for UX. The man has our back! Word has it that scraping involves data being extracted from online sources that is then thrown into a database or spreadsheet.

Does that make sense? Whatever. The point is that we can all be relieved that our days of endless Twitter scrolling are now numbered – once you get your fill, you’re reportedly locked out of Twitter until the next day. Good! I for one look forward to the thrill of not having every single thought in the world handed to me on a plate, and honestly, so should you.

If Fewer Tweets Isn’t Enough, There Are Also The Horrors

In another recent development, there are Twitter users allegedly being blindsided by violent and traumatic videos, so if you’re going to stay on Twitter for anything, stay for that.

According to NBC News, Twitter users have been trying the nameless feature after Musk promoted it last week, only to be shown videos that include things like police brutality, gun violence, and gore. There’s apparently some vaccine misinformation in there too, so check it out — sounds like a spicy mix.

“Some of the videos are indeed quite edgy,” Musk remarked on Twitter last week in response to the graphic content. Incidentally, one tweeter reckons he stopped using the feature when they saw a cute dog video before being taken aback by footage of a guy who “impaled himself on the back of a truck.” Sorry bud, but it’s called real life!

Word has it that the feature launched in May 2022 before Musk bought the company — but the surge in violent videos is a reflection of the fact that violence tends to generate engagement and coupled with Elon being unbothered by elitist safeguards like online safety. What’s unsafe about being on the internet? Grow up!

I think I’ve made my point. Threads may be vying for your attention, but why mess around a weird clone app when Twitter persists in all its disgusting and unsanitised glory? Personally, I’ve had enough of being patronised. I’m perfectly capable of deciding whether I want to watch someone get hit by a car, as I am of surviving — nay, thriving — with an allocated tweet limit. Ultimately, I’ve seen what Elon is capable of, and I’ll be tweeting until the end.


This satirical article was written by Reena Gupta, Junkee’s Deputy editor. She tweets at @purpletank