This Touching Eulogy For The Big Prawn Is A Fitting Lament For Australia’s Forgotten Big Things
This nation has neglected its Big Things for too long. Time for action, Australia.
It’s no secret that Australia’s legendary Big Things have lost something of their lustre in recent times. Once shining examples of Australian culture and industry, beacons like Goulburn’s Big Merino, the Sunshine Coast’s Big Pineapple and Hexham’s unrivalled Big Mosquito drew awestruck thousands to stand in their shadows.
No longer. The world has moved on, and the Golden Age of Australia’s Big Things is passed. Coffs Harbour’s Big Banana — one of the original Big Things, an Aussie pioneer on par with Blaxland, Lawson and Wentworth braving the Blue Mountains — has fallen into disrepair, constantly beset by financial difficulties and waning interest. Taree’s Big Oyster, once a stirring tribute to the hard-working aquaculturists of the Mid North Coast, now endures a diminished, disgraced existence as a used-car dealership. In a real democracy, the lack of care and stewardship afforded to Robertson’s Big Potato would be the subject of a royal commission.
Those were glory days, old friend. (Source: Celcom/Wikipedia.)
Only a few remember the halcyon days of Australia’s Big Things, and even fewer mourn their passing. But a faithful remnant lives on, even as the monuments they worship decay and fade. If you count yourself among them, may this tribute video to Ballina’s Big Prawn — once the pride of the Northern Rivers, now a graffitied abomination — stoke your despair at this sorry state of affairs into righteous anger, and a demand for change.
Camera shaking with rage and passion, our narrator recalls the dizzying heights the Big Prawn once occupied in public esteem, before lamenting its unjust demise. Quoting Shelley’s Ozymandias, he rages against the human callousness and indifference that caused this crisis, before succumbing to his emotions. It may be the most harrowing 75 seconds of video you will ever watch.
Upsetting viewing, to be sure, but there is a case for cautious hope. In a separate video, our narrator indulges his passion for history, laying out a compelling case for how society can benefit when its local landmarks are maintained with due respect.
His exhaustive and fascinating oral history of Ye Olde Macadamia Castle — not twenty minutes north of the Big Prawn’s ruins — gives due credit to the order of fighting monks who keep the citadel and its grounds in working order. As he says, “If the descendants of Ṣalāḥ ad-Dīn decided to come up the Pacific Highway and lay siege to this important landmark, then by crikey they’d get a bit of a kick up the bum.”
Ye Old Macadamia Castle is living testament that our long-neglected Big Things can still be saved, and how richly we will be rewarded as a nation if we decide to act. This is the greatest nation-building task we’ve faced since the Snowy River hydroelectric scheme, but if we pull it off no nation on earth will be able to look down their noses at us.
Come on, people. Let’s make Australia Big again.