There Is A Fairly Worrying Amount Of ‘How To Train Your Dragon’ Slash Fiction Out There

Wade deep enough into the waters of the Internet and you’ll find yourself at the doors of its Atlantis: FanFiction.net. It seems familiar enough, like a city above sea level, except everything’s different somehow — and though you wouldn’t want to spend all your time there, you’re sure as shit curious what everyone’s getting up to.

At FanFiction.net, your favourite movies and TV shows are given new life; characters are taken away from their initial creators and given new motivations and desires, specifically fitting the whims of their new, anonymous overlords. Ever wondered what the precise logistics would be were Spock and Kirk to submit to their more primal urges? Someone at FanFiction.net has written it out in unflinching detail. The same goes for trysts between the sisters in Frozen. Maybe you were seeking new instalments from the Cannonball Run universe (an impossibility in reality, because of all the dying the cast has done); you’ll find them too at FanFiction.net.

This particular site — just one in an ocean of them — boasts thousands upon thousands of civilian-penned, sometimes sex-packed tales concerning your favourite pop culture icons.Star Wars, The Avengers, and Pirates of the Caribbean sit atop Fan Fiction’s top 10 film properties, with 32,000, 25,000 and 19,000 entries respectively. Cast your eyes slightly further down that list, and just beneath High School Musical and Labyrinth you’ll find How to Train Your Dragon. Not immediately alarming — until you realise the sheer number of HTTYD shorts involving Hiccup and his dragon Toothless getting down to the business.

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Sleepless Nights, by Sakura Camui

“Toothless pushed apart Hiccup’s legs, a satisfied growl now seeming to come from him as he leaned down to take the teenager into his mouth.”

Whatever discomfort you might feel from reading about a teenager getting a blowjob won’t be absolved by the fact that it’s being conducted by a non-human. In Sleepless Nights, some unexplained magic allows Toothless to take his true form: a scaly, horned, tail-having man with glossy black skin and an insatiable appetite for his owner. Toothless goes to some trouble to please Hiccup, teasing him and kissing “all the memorized spots that he knew would make his master squirm in pleasure.” Hiccup is finally brought to climax, Toothless close behind… and then Camui shuts up shop. The story’s over before it begins! That said, it does close with Toothless finally uttering his first words: “Love you Hiccup.” It’s a trend that carries over, you’ll see.

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Can I Have You, by rainbow-wolf1

“The dragon stopped. He needed something, anything to help with his now unsheathed penis. He needed something to rub against. The poor dragon looked around furiously.”

I don’t think I need to say ‘spoiler alert’ before telling you that Hiccup is more than happy to help Toothless out with that problem right there, especially after being afforded such a thoughtful BJ. (If there’s a common thread across all of these, it’s that Toothless is a very generous lover.) Can I Have You is slightly raunchier than the rest, with the dragon’s lipstick situation described in detail, and Hiccup scoring a pearl necklace for his troubles.

This time, though, once everyone has gotten theirs, the story continues. Rainbow-wolf1 has Toothless and Hiccup attempt to reconcile their attraction towards one another, before again submitting to their earthly desires. When Hiccup’s girlfriend Astrid eventually catches them in flagrante delicto, she calls them “sick” and bolts. Hiccup doesn’t chase after her, however. He stays with Toothless, practically relieved to have it all out in the open. In that way, it’s definitely the sweetest story, featuring the line, “the dragon [rams] into his prostate again causing the last bit of seed to leak out.”

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Dragon and his rider, by FalconMage

“The mighty dragon let loose a thunderous roar, jaws opened wide to scream his lungs out, giving voice to his impending orgasm.”

The fucking in this is a little more utilitarian, with Toothless suddenly overcome by mating season and begging Hiccup to see to his needs. The previously straight Hiccup enjoys himself so much he begins to question his relationship with Astrid and his own sexuality. And then, he’s buried in dragon bukkake.

Once again, as night sets, the two of them — physically and emotionally satisfied — take notice of one another’s eyes and find “trust, love, and best of all, friendship.” It’s almost a direct nod to How to Train Your Dragon’s best scene, in which Hiccup tames baby Toothless. The sex in all these stories is, undeniably, pored over, but most unexpected is the frequency of loving pillow talk that follows, both parties finally at harmony with themselves.

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The Difference Between Wrong and Right, by Reiko Katsura

“They’d done this before — the first time had been an accident, but the countless times after it were… not. Hiccup refused to refer to it as sex. He refused to refer to it as anything. It just was.”

This one begins, like many of the others, with Hiccup entangled with Astrid, and unsettled. His confusion is calmed by Toothless’ appreciative embrace. I selected the above quote not because it was hilarious to imagine a boy manipulating a dragon’s shaft, but because of how emblematic it is of so many of these stories, and slash fiction as a genre. There is little resolution to this tale; no confession to Astrid, no final acceptance of the in-denial Hiccup’s lifestyle. Nothing except sexual gratification and fleeting emotional contentment.

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Is it strange to read story after story of a boy and his dragon having graphic, blush-inducing sex? In a way. But is it really all so peculiar that How to Train Your Dragon has inspired such writing? Actually, no. It’s a coming-of-age movie. Perhaps some of these pieces were written by — and read by — people still trying to understand their feelings and sensations, and isn’t the confusion felt by someone in love with something everyone says is impossible a potent representation of that struggle? Many entries conclude with Toothless finally communicating his feelings towards his owner, and Hiccup’s cloud of sexual confusion suddenly evaporated following a saucy encounter with his pet.

Perhaps that’s why HTTYD, previously famous for being DreamWorks’ only good picture, has attracted such attention in the slashfic community. It’s not simply about sex, but also romance and friendship, and the earthshaking personal clarity that comes about because of them. Star Wars and Frozen and even Labyrinth are about characters whose ‘specialness’ is finally confirmed by the world around them. How to Train Your Dragon is much more intimate. It’s about specifically sharing your ‘specialness’ with someone else. You can’t begrudge any young writer for wanting to replicate that.

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How to Train Your Dragon 2 is out now.

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Simon Miraudo is Quickflix‘s AFCA-award winning news editor and film critic. He is also co-shot of The Podcasting Couch and tweets @simonmiraudo.