A Coalition Of Pissbabies Are Trying To Raise Money To Remake ‘The Last Jedi’ And It’s Hilarious
They've made a poster for their "remake" and oh boy.
The thing about Star Wars is that amongst the legions of normal people who are enthused by space swords and laser planets, there’s also an excessively loud minority of the literal worst people in the world, who give every other fan a bad name. And those pissbabies hate The Last Jedi the most.
Said pissbabies have been really active lately, absolutely tipping over all the furniture in their mum’s basement because they hated Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi so much. They’ve also forced basically every actress from the films off social media through harassment and bullying. They should all get more jobs and less hobbies, tbh.
In less horrible and more actively ludicrous news, a “team of producers” have generously offered to “remake” The Last Jedi, and are… crowdfunding to make it possible, despite somehow already supposedly having the funds. It’s confusing, because it’s a stupid scheme cooked in a nonsense-pot.
Our team of producers is offering to cover the budget for a remake of The Last Jedi in order to save Star Wars. Share this and spread the word to let @RobertIger & @Disney know you want this! This isn't a joke, we're ready to have the convo now! #RemakeTheLastJedi #StarWars
— Remake The Last Jedi (@RMTheLastJedi) June 20, 2018
“This is a campaign to provide Disney an opportunity to course correct with the Star Wars franchise,” they say on their website. “The fans are completely divided and the core goal of Star Wars has been abandoned. The goal is to not make one half of the fandom happy over the other, it is to make a film that the fandom in general as a whole enjoys.”
Hmm.
“The producers behind this have pledged to cover the budget, but you can pledge an amount to have your voice heard. You DO NOT have to put financial or personal information in, just an email address and a pledge,” they say, which seems dubious. Who are these mysterious and angry millionaires?
What the so-called remake would actually look like remains open to interpretation, because the cabal of angry dorks aren’t blatantly stating how much they hate women on film. But one amazing artist has made a movie poster that perfectly encapsulates their vision.
Just look at this — Luke Skywalker is ab city, John Boyega is wearing a fedora, there’s some kind of insane new deathstar and Rey is literally back in the kitchen.
My teaser poster for the Last Jedi Remake is now up in the shop. Poster done, now all we need is a script, a cast, the rights, a director, money, and talent. https://t.co/PhEdA1CHYY #RemakeTheLastJedi #JulyTheSecondBeWithYou pic.twitter.com/j8VczWNHX4
— Fernando Reza (@frodesignco) July 2, 2018
Anyway, naturally people are roasting the scheme that somehow vaguely plans to raise enough money to shoot a blockbuster movie while circumventing Disney’s army of lawyers.
Plus, The Last Jedi was actually a great film, just settle down folks. Eat a sandwich, look at a mountain. Do anything other than this.
Star Wars isnt for ME anymore!! The hero has a VAGINA!! I haven't even SEEN a vagina!!! I had a fajita once, but that's as close as it gets!!! STAR WARS ISNT FOR ME ANYMORE!!! REMAKE THE LAST JEDI with COOL white guys with HUGE dicks so I can have MY Star Wars back!!!
— n8 ? (@inatemyself) June 27, 2018
I hesitate to even tweet about it because I do think it's a deliberate trolling thing but it's truly so funny that the remake-the-last-jedi website lets you submit a no-money-down pledge of up to $10,000 at a time by typing any name and any email address
— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) June 28, 2018
If I can raise a total of 172 million dollars I will be able to remake the remake of the last jedi. Please submit your pledge by tweeting the amount at me, and your first name so I can track you down when it's time to collect
— Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) June 28, 2018
Wow, the Remake The Last Jedi campaign has already raised over 377 million imaginary dollars! That’s almost $0 in regular dollars. pic.twitter.com/okw6djDGJQ
— Adi Robertson (@thedextriarchy) June 29, 2018