The Hunt For The Ultimate Burger

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People love to eat. It seems we spend most of our time deciding what we’ll next be consuming. Last year, researchers found that Melbourne is now home to 135 more hospitality venues than retailers. Sorry, shopping: we’ve got snacking to do.

I’m just like the rest of you. I go to bed thinking about when I’ll get my next smashed avocado; I regularly say things like “Do you have a Single Origin option?”; and I get excited when I see “opening soon” posters with pretty bowls of ramen illustrated all over them. Naturally, this obsession has meant I’ve come in and out with the tidal food trends that regularly wash over our beloved inner-city suburbs. Mexican, pulled pork sandwiches, soft shell crabs — I’ve fussed about them all. But although food trends come and go, there’s one dish that will never get dropped off the menu: the humble burger.

Our obsession with burgers isn’t going away. It’s the staple that corporate entities like McDonald’s and Hungry Jack’s model their entire businesses around, and from your local clinical-looking 2am kebab shop with fluorescent interiors, to the most expensive dining establishments in the country, everyone has a burger. We compare them against one another, we debate with colleagues as to which is the best, and we apply filters to them furiously, attaching ironic hashtags like “#cleaneating” and “#fitspiration”.

But why exactly have Australians become so enamoured with gourmet meat patties and their soft bun neighbours? Curious, I went on a hunt to find some people who might have an answer. I found Jimmy, a 30-year-old ‘burger blogger’ from Melbourne who’s just published his first book; ‘Burgerhead’, an app that was described to me as “Grindr for burgers” (sold!); and Daniel Wilson, the Victorian chef whose ‘Huxtaburger’ was so popular that it ended up becoming a chain store in less than three years.

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Jimmy’s Burgers: “You need to have the burger on lockdown before you start stressing about the sides.”

My search began with James Hurlston, or plain ‘Jimmy’, as he’s known to his online following. He started a burger blog after a trip to America in 2010, where, over the course of 16 days, he ate 64 burgers and blogged about every single one.

Three years later, Jimmy released The Burger Book — a 200-page guide to every burger in Victoria (a ‘Burger Bible’, if you will). A Sydney version is now in the works, alongside a foray into television. Surely a man whose life has been changed so significantly by burgers would have some answers for me, right?

Junkee: Uh, so you made a whole book about burgers. Do you think people will buy it? Why do you think people even like talking about burgers in the first place?
Jimmy: They are the ultimate food. Not only do they contain all the necessary ingredients for a balanced diet, but you can eat them with one hand — win. They’re an enormously social food as well, often enjoyed in groups; it’s a special experience when you go and smash burgs with your peoples. They also differ from place to place, country-to-country, and then some. People experiment with burgers. I made some burger calzones last night that were cool. I made a cheeseburger, a cheeseburger with bacon, a cheeseburger with bacon and fries, a cheeseburger without the bun on a bed of cheese, a pear and gorgonzola, and a gorgonzola, prosciutto and tomato-basil base… Why wouldn’t I want to talk about that?

What about sides, though? Do you think they need to be spoken about?
Sides are not crucial to a burger at all. They can be good, but not crucial. I do like when places experiment with sides — I have been to certain venues just because they do a mean mac ‘n’ cheese or some sweet jalapeno poppers. I think sides are an addition, but you really need to have the burger on lockdown before you start stressing about the sides.

You’ve eaten and reviewed around a billion different burgers (give or take…). What’s the best burger you’ve ever eaten?
Burgers are so subjective; they mostly depend on the kind of mood you’re in. For example, if you’re hungover and you just need something greasy with extra bacon and stuff, then you would go for a burger of that genre.

I have no qualms with saying that I love fast food burgers — I love In-N-Out Burger in the US, I love MAX from Sweden and, I will be honest, I even love McDonald’s. People often ask what I think about McDonald’s and I cannot lie — I eat Maccas about five times a week, if not more.

Sorry, what?
There is a reason that the McDonald’s cheeseburger is the most eaten burger in the world… It’s good! I’m sorry, but a simple cheeseburger is an incredible invention.

But surely that can’t be your ULTIMATE burger?
My ultimate burger is a double cheeseburger with double bacon, jalapenos, and hot sauce. I have it tattooed on the inside of my left wrist.

So, what’s the WORST burger you’ve ever eaten? 
Like I said, you can have a burger that someone else may think is incredible at the wrong time of day and in the wrong mood, and BAM! It instantly climbs up your sh*t list.

True that. Tell me, though, what is the climactic goal for your burger career?
I want to educate the world on good burgers. For want of a better quote: “Give a man a burger and he will eat; teach a man to burger and he will live like a king.”

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Burgerhead: “It’s wham bam, let’s grab a burger, and not have to splash a stack of coin to enjoy something tasty!”

After talking to Jimmy, I wondered who else out there was shaping a lifestyle from the burger craze. My hunt led me to the guys from Burgerhead, a new app being developed out of Melbourne that provides reviews of nearby burgers, by way of GPS technology.

Burgerhead is the first business venture for young entrepreneurs Aaron Rocca, James Collins and Ebony Hare, who have collectively set out to answer the ultimate question for any burger-enthusiast: “Where can I find the best burgers?”

Junkee: You’re starting an app for burgers. Wtf. Why?
Burgerhead: Well, the obvious and most important reason is that we all love good burgers. AJ (one of our developers) has always been keen to be part of the emerging burger scene in Australia. His introduction to it began when he was living in Adelaide and helped open a new burger eatery, but the whole venture was a FLOP. Still, loving every minute of the burger industry, his failures drove him to start afresh, which is where the rest of us came in.

To be honest, we were quite surprised it did not already exist! Considering how quickly the burger craze has been growing, we figured that a burger location/review app could be of some serious use and would be sustainable — much like our friends at Beanhunter, who created an amazing application for finding coffee.

But how are you going to discern a good burger from a bad burger? It’s so subjective.
With the review component, we break it down by asking, “What are the essential elements to a burger?” Well, we believe it’s the bun, the patty, and the sauce. The cheese, the salads, and so on are extras, but those three are key elements for any burger eatery. We’re just trying to keep things simple, but we’ve also built in a ‘Burgers In Demand’ section, which serves as a top ten of sorts.

What’s the BEST burger you’ve ever eaten?
Oh man, we’ve eaten all over the country so this could go on. Pearl’s Dinner back in Adelaide, Belle’s Diner and Huxtaburger in Melbourne, Mary’s in Sydney, even Brodburger in Canberra is doing some amazing things. We could list for days.

Aren’t you guys worried at all that the burger craze will die off and the app will become redundant?
Burgers have always been a staple in western culture, and the standards of food and hospitality are increasing rapidly. It’s not a fashion statement or a popular diet or even the cool thing to do — everyone eats burgers. It’s not as if you have to book weeks in advance and save up some cash to buy a burger; it’s wham bam, let’s grab a burger and not have to splash a stack of coin to enjoy something tasty! We think that amongst all the crazy fads and options we have within the world of food, burgers will remain and continue to flourish because they are an almighty, simple luxury.

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Huxtaburger: “If you start with crap, you end up with crap.”

While the work that Jimmy and the guys from Burgerhead are doing is taking the burger craze to new heights, they offered no definite answer as to why adults seem to be loving burgers more than their children.

I thought it might be best to go straight to the source, and find someone who truly puts their life on the line for the love of burgers. I pulled a few strings and had a chat with Daniel Wilson, who, at the end of 2011, thought “YOLO” and opened a burger store across the road from his prolific Fitzroy eatery, Huxtable.

A bit over two years later, Huxtaburger is taking Melbourne by storm. There’s over 2,500 photos under the #huxtaburger Instagram feed, three stores are now up and running, the Huxtabook is scheduled for release in March, and Wilson’s recent estimates tell him that last year alone Huxta pumped out close to 400,000 burgers. What was at the core of the store’s success? Was it the fact all the burgers are named after characters from The Cosby Show? Or was it all due to the burger training (yeah, it’s a thing) that Daniel did during his stint in the US?

Junkee: Huxtaburger is known colloquially as ‘Hipsterburger’. How did this attachment come about, and do you think it’s benefited your product?
Daniel: As Smith Street is quite densely populated with hipsters, they do make up a lot of our clientele. We have always welcomed everyone, and not really targeted any particular type of customer. People love to stereotype others, but we don’t.

You must have eaten a lot of burgers over your time in order to create something so popular. In your opinion, what’s absolutely crucial to a good burger?
Good quality ingredients. If you start with crap, you end up with crap.

Last year Huxtaburger was donned the “best burger in Australia”, and one of your hotdogs even appeared on Masterchef. Is there another fast food venture in the works?
Anything is possible.

Oh, come on…
Sorry, my friend… It’s all under wraps for now.

I’m learning really quickly that people love talking about burgers. Looking more widely, why do you think people are so interested in food and talking about food and sharing food?
Food is something that has brought people and cultures together forever. It’s meant to be shared with family and friends, and it’s a great topic of conversation as we all have different tastes and opinions.

Okay, bringing it back to burgers now, what’s the worst one you’ve ever eaten?
Well, I do try and go out of my way to make sure that bad dining experiences are few and far between, but while it’s not really a burger, I’m haunted by the idea of some soggy tomato sandwiches in a lunchbox.

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So, have we uncovered what exactly keeps us buying burgers? No. No, we haven’t.

Jimmy thinks it’s because they inspire conversation, the guys from Burgerhead think it’s because of their affordability, and Daniel thinks it’s because the attraction of burgers can transcend cultural boundaries.

It seems the only thing we can ascertain is that it’s all very subjective, and in that might be the very answer we’re looking for. Subjective experiences are those that we like to share the most — it’s the differences that keep us talking. I’d assume that Jimmy, Burgerhead and Daniel are keeping their fingers crossed that we don’t lose interest. I don’t think we will be.

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When Henry Boles isn’t stuffing his face, he’s the editor of storytelling site, What We Wrote. You can follow him on Twitter at @henry_boles.