The five types of guys you’ll find at a nightclub
Sometimes the only cure to a stressful week is having a few (maybe a lot) of drinks and a good night out with the squad. But of course, having a killer night of dancing with the gals is often not that easy when there are guys on the lurk. It’s been long established that the nightclub is not the best place to meet guys, particularly when these are the types of guys you’re sure to see hanging around the bar or the D floor.
The sleaze
This is the guy you'll spend your night hiding from, probably in the safe haven of the girl's bathroom. He is way too thirsty, hitting on you with all the confidence of a Bachelorette contestant. Even if you give him clear signs that you’re not interested, unfortunately he will persist. But if you continue to ignore his attempts at flirting, after a while, he'll eventually stop and move on to your friend. The sleaze is a classy guy.
The cash flasher
This guy loves to brag about how much he earns. He’ll be the only person in the place wearing a suit and he’ll shout a round of Jägerbombs to anyone in close proximity. This is the kind of guy who will pay for one of those closed off booths and order bottle service. Feel like a free drink? The cash flasher's your guy. But don’t get too close to him or you’ll never hear the end of how important his job is and how much cash he’s rolling in.
The typical bro
This guy can be easily spotted, as he’ll no doubt arrive in a pack with similar dude-bros. This is the kind of guy who will describe himself as just ‘one of the lads’, and makes sure the whole nightclub knows it. Often obnoxiously drunk, this guy uses the dance floor for jumping, yelling and chanting with his bros. Be warned if you’re dancing near this guy, as he might just decide it’s ‘funny’ to throw his beer up on the air.
The promoter
This guy thinks he’s top shit. You can easily identify this guy from his ultra-smug grin, often found chatting to the the bouncer or DJ. This is the guy you get those annoying FB invites and text messages from every second day, pestering you to say his name at the door. He’s probs got a nickname like ‘Scotty Raver’ which has replaced his real FB name too. This guy is the actual worst.
The way-too-turnt guy
This guy has no idea what’s going on. He is usually harmless, unless he decides the dance floor is a great place to vom. The way-too-turnt guy can easily be avoided – he’ll no doubt have a drink spilled all over his shirt and a dead look in his eyes that suggests he’s midway through a total blackout. If you tip the bouncers off and send them in his direction, he won’t be around for much longer.
Image: James Stewart, Flickr Creative Commons license