Ten Things We Can Expect From Rebel Wilson’s MTV Movie Awards Hosting Gig On Monday
Tracksuits, mermaid dancing, "breast voice", and other things.
Rebel Wilson is in da houseeeeeeeeee! Because no one likes surprises unless they’re of the Kinder variety (Rebel included, although the following clip makes it pretty clear that she’s more of a Chomp kinda girl), we’ve decided to take a quick look at what we can expect from our homegrown-talent-made-good when she takes the stage to host the MTV Movie Awards this coming Monday morning. And cue the lols…
1. Tracksuits
In an effort to look ‘hot’ for awards season, most stars dabble in a crash diet or six and fake-tan to Mars and back. Not Rebel. She’ll be rocking a pair of trackies and some pink poodle sneakers in a self-confessed attempt to “take the attention away from my double chin”. Genius! Can someone get Jeremy Scott on the line?
2. Dancing
Well, yes, there will obviously be dancing, but what kind of dancing? Modern dance, tap dance… mermaid dance?
3. Street cred
After officially proclaiming Ellen Degeneres ‘Ellen Deezy’ and presenting her with some SWEET custom bling-rings — right hand Ellen, left hand Deezy, together weapons of mass destruction — everyone on MTV Awards night will be addressed by their rightful rap name. B Pizzle? J Frannnnnc? Sel Go?
4. Nunchucks and drive-bys, uh, we mean drive-throughs
No joke, weapons and personal security are a genuine concern for Wilson who confessed to Ellen that she’s more used to drive-throughs than drive-bys in the ghetto ‘burbs of Sydney. In the name of all things safety, we present you with Rebel Wilson’s highly effective NUNCHUCK ACTION STYLEE!
5. Relaxed grooming habits
Who knows, maybe she’ll shave this time?
6. Rap things
“Rebelicious, aka Lil’ Reb, aka Lick-a-Lick-a-Lick-a-Lick-a-Lick-a-Rib-licious…”
7. Body percussion and “breast voice”
As she explained on Jay Leno’s show during a promo appearance for her high school musical, Pitch Perfect, Rebel has a unique approach when it comes to belting out a number. “A lot of people sing from their chest voice, and I sing from my breast voice.” Someone should use this advice on The Voice.
8. Um, penis magic?
Apparently, her latest role in Michael Bay’s upcoming film, Pain and Gain, has given Rebel special powers… PENIS powers. No wonder James Franco looks so interested.
9. Channing Tatum
Having previously confessed her love for Channing Tatum, the pair are seen in this MTV promo (below) driving away from unidentified baddies with guns. After an urgent plea from Rebel to “GET MY GUN, IT’S IN MY BRA ARGH!!!”, an obliging Tatum goes for a cheeky titty-grab only to realise it was in the glove box all along! As if he didn’t already know that. #cheekytatum
10. The pièce de résistance
Our prediction for the grand finale? Rebel whips out some bling-rings, nunchucks, a hand gun (this time actually stashed down her bra) and a grenade or two, and threatens to “blow the roof off this joint” unless Tatum and current wifey Jenna Dewan divorce, Jeremy Scott sponsors her rap career, and Bieber joins her in an a capella rendition of Kris Kross’s classic, ‘I Missed the Bus’ (a lifelong favourite, as she once revealed to Jimmy Kimmel).
Catch the ‘MTV Movie Awards’ live on MTV on Monday April 15 at 11am (AEDT).