South Australia Has The Most Ridiculous Time Zone, And Might Be About To Change It

[UPDATE JULY 28]: The South Australian government has announced it wants to move the state to Eastern time, ensuring Western Australia’s isolation and eventual secession from the rest of the continent.

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‘Adelayed’ could be a thing of the past if South Australia’s premier Jay ‘Marty McFly’ Weatherwill has his way. The Croweaters launched a state-wide public consultation yesterday, asking South Australians to contribute to a conversation about abolishing the thirty-minute time zone difference from the eastern states: “Should we dump the half-hour gap; should we go forward or retreat half an hour?” it asks. “Do we really need to be half an hour different from the east coast?”

No, this is definitely not the same tired debate the state rolls out every few years. This time, it’s legit. For keeps. Apparently.

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An Eastern-tacious Decision

All you navel gazers on the East Coast probably weren’t even aware of the time zone antics happening under your very noses. For those who aren’t Greenwich Mean Time aficionados: at this very moment, Adelaide is half an hour behind NSW, Vic and Tassie, but a half-hour ahead of no-longer-Campbell-Newman’s QLD. We’re also also one-hour in front of The NT News, and two and half hours ahead of WA. Are you keeping up?

It’s a little less confusing during winter (when there are fewer time zones across Australia), but it’s a big ol’ mess during summer. Apparently some VERY important business-suit-wearing people find it hard to deduct half an hour in their heads, and thus South Australia’s economy is in the doldrums.

“We need to be better connected with the nation and the world, and we also need to realise the opportunities and benefits,” said Premier Weatherill. “The business community has raised this issue with me on a number of occasions and I believe the time is right to put the broader question to the community about the day-to-day inconvenience of a half-hour time zone.”

“Live Across Australia”

South Australians have never once seen a legitimate episode of Rove [Live]. Never once heard the words, “It’s time to go…” at the same time as their Sydney and Melbourne Big Brother-watching counterparts. Most importantly, they have NEVER tweeted a tweet about #ImACelebrityAu during the optimum time for re-tweets. Think of all those ~personal~ brands!

Will South Australians have to do the unthinkable, bitterly choking down their Farmers Union Iced Coffees while reluctantly agreeing to join their evil rivals on Eastern Standard Time? A poll in the local rag has the decision coming down to the wire.

If we do switch the clocks to match the East, the economy will flourish (the government said so!), the airlines won’t have to announce the time zones at the end of a flight (no matter how redundant smart phones have made this), and, most importantly, more of Australia will be able to come together as one, to tweet in unison about the love-her-or-loathe-her Maureen McCormick.

I really wish Adelaide aired reality shows the same time that Sydney and Melbourne aired them. Id love to live tweet #stupidtimezones

— S∆r∆h (@sjlangs) February 2, 2015

Businesses happy? Tick. Economy back on track? Supposedly. Happy constituents? Well, if there’s a 50-50 split, you must be doing something right. But while economic reasoning points to “it’s on” for a time zone switch in SA, it’s not that simple.

Ever wondered why WA never warmed to daylight saving? It’s not because they’re locally and facetiously known as ‘WA – Wait Awhile’. Instead, it’s got everything to do with the light; or, to put it another way, the dark.

Bringing the clocks forward thirty minutes could have a shadowing effect on the large, Westernmost portion of the state — and the anti-time zone changer’s concerns are legitimate. As the federal member for Grey — an electorate that covers a lot of the western parts of the state — Rowan Ramsey put it, “We already deal with the issue of virtually getting up in the dark to get kids on school buses.”

If the big wigs in Parliament House were looking to social media for the tweet of approval, the voting was mixed.

changing south australia's timezone is so fucking stupid

— jade (@ftharmony) February 5, 2015

Plans to change South Australia’s timezone, to align with eastern states, could massively help the Crows and Power with jetlag.

— Titus O'Reily (@TitusOReily) February 5, 2015

Don't know if changing the time zone in South Australia is a good or bad thing!

— Maria De Ionno (@MariaDeIonno) February 5, 2015

So in the battle of the time zones, who wins out? The too-busy-to-sip-on-their-lattes-because-they’re-tweeters-from-the-inner-city, or the regional towns who feel like Mr. Burns has installed a sun blocker for half the year?

The least likely but most entertaining compromise is that South Australia will split in two; half will go ahead, and half will go behind. Henceforth it will be known as New West South Australia and New East South Australia. The Westies will get their kids to school in the glorious sunshine, and the Easterners can live tweet to their heart’s content.

Either that or nothing will change, and we’ll dig this all up again in two years and thirty minutes time.

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Mikey Nicholson is a media graduate from Adelaide, South Australia. He’s written for The Guardian, The Drum, The Vine Online, and tweets from @Mikey_Nicholson