So, Is Beyonce Pregnant Again Or What?
Nobody knows. But she totally is. Unless she isn't.
Our collective obsession with the family that will one day rule the world knows no ends, and understandably so. Beyonce, Jay-Z, Blue Ivy… they are the ultimate example for a generation of young people who long to believe in love, but whose parents keep sleeping with their secretaries and household help (or something). That’s why the pressing news that’s ruling the internet airwaves at the moment is the ongoing speculation regarding Beyonce’s rumoured pregnancy. Is Blue Ivy set to get a lil’ baby sister or brother, or is Beyonce just, you know, slightly bloated? Enquiring (and otherwise bored) minds wanna know!
We’ve rounded up some of the major news stories and bits of factual evidence that have come to light over the weekend, so you can come to your own decision on the matter…
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Beyonce could be either PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT because she brought two prams onstage during a recent concert
Key evidence: “During the star’s performance of ‘Grown Woman’, two dancers wheeled prams across the stage whilst confused fans couldn’t help but tweet their excitement about the stunt. One concert goer tweeted: ‘Two prams on the stage!’ He added, ‘Two dancers wheeled them on and wheeled them off.'”
Source: Entertainment Wise
Analysis: These guys seem to be reading an awful lot into a throwaway three-second segue halfway through a performance in Zurich, Switzerland, don’t you think?
Verdict: Chill out, people, just a couple of prams, nothing to see here. Then again, this kinda “humour” is right in Beyonce’s wheelhouse.
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Beyonce is PREGNANT because her clothes are baggy
Key evidence: “Rumors first began churning that the Grammy winner was with child when, earlier this month, she walked the red carpet at the Met Gala wearing a custom-made Givenchy gown that deftly concealed her stomach, its bodice cinched high above the waist just as its intricate pattern made it difficult to discern any change in her silhouette.”
Source: E! Online
Analysis: I’m no women’s fashion expert, but the only baggy thing here is the bottom of that dress, right? I’d call that tight belt around Beyonce’s stomach (where I always assumed wombs to be), well, “tight”. Is Beyonce’s womb around her thighs? This is confusing.
Verdict: If this picture proves she’s pregnant, I need to re-enrol in high school biology class.
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Beyonce is NOT PREGNANT because her clothes are tight
Key evidence: “Beyoncé is letting her outfits speak louder than her words… The 31-year-old Queen of Pop hits the stage in Italy looking slimmer than ever during her Mrs. Carter World Tour.”
Source: NY Daily News
Analysis: See, this makes me believe in science again.
Verdict: Can you even do that if you’re pregnant?
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Beyonce is NOT PREGNANT because she just said so on her Instagram
Key evidence: “Last night, though, Bey took to Instagram to deny any pregnancy. The photo, which has since been deleted, was not-so-nice. To be fair, it’s not like people were spreading vicious rumors about her, as you might guess from her tone. We just want another Babyonce!”
Source: Complex
Analysis: It’s hard to argue with facts that are presented straight from the horse’s mouth. Not that Beyonce is a horse. If she was equine-related, she’d more likely be a Shetland pony, something kind and happily docile. Although she does seem pretty tall and energetic, so perhaps she’d be a Clydesdale?
Verdict: Come on, would Beyonce lie to you?
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So, to quickly summarise our findings: I don’t think this has helped anybody at all. As of publication, Beyonce is either pregnant or not pregnant. You’re welcome?