Culture

People Have The Shits With This Slanted Toilet Designed To Improve Worker Productivity

"If i see these at work, I am going to shit in the sink every day."

by Michelle Rennex  18 December 2019
Slanted Toilet Capitalism

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You know the saying: Time is money.

And apparently UK start-up have created a slanted toilet to make you stop wasting company time and money.

The alleged design looks like any other run-of-the-mill toilet, but has the addition of a 13-degree downward slant. The product images of the StandardToilet doing the rounds on Twitter, claims that the “13-degree sitting angle causes leg strain after five minutes.”

While other publications have reported the StandardToilet as a sure thing, there’s actually no trace of the start-up or product on the internet. Nor is there any LinkedIn profile for Mahabir Gill, the company developer dishing out quotes on the new invention.

While chatting with Daily Mail, Mahabir shared that the £150 – £500 toilet is supposedly designed to “increase strain on the legs similar to a gentle squat thrust.” The bonkers toilet design aims to target the costs of the “extended employee breaks” which make businesses lose money. Because God forbid someone chuck a shit on company time, hey?

But it’s not all bad, apparently all that StandardToilet leg strain is good for you! Mahabir reckons “the engagement of upper and lower leg muscles… helps reduce musculoskeletan disorders.”

The developer also shared that 13-degrees is the perfect slant to make people uncomfortable without causing long-term issues. “Anything higher would cause wider problems,” Mahabir said. “Thirteen degrees is not too inconvenient, but you’d soon want to get off the seat.”

While there’s no actual proof that this toilet concept is real, the fact it’s actually at all believable is a point of concern. After being shared to Twitter, people began to point out how the evil toilet is capitalism gone mad.

Others highlighted that if workers are escaping to toilets for so long that it’s impacting costs, there’s bigger issues at hand and likely better ways to boost productivity.

The discussion around the Capitalism Toilet also addressed the legal issues around the lavatory design for people with illnesses.

But most just took the opportunity to make jokes about the StandardToilet, offering similar money-making ideas and solutions to combat to the new design.

While the slanted toilet may not exist yet, the idea that something so wicked could be real is frightening and we really can’t help but laugh through the pain.

Happy un-slanted shitting, y’all!