As hard as relationships are to navigate, suddenly finding yourself single for the first time is a challenge in its own right.

Losing a whole person from your everyday life is a lot to get used to, but it’s also a huge opportunity if you play it right.

Actually Be Single 

The first step to being single is to actually be single. Go figure. And by “actually be single” I mean being able to walk around without that post-breakup grief ball and chain around your ankle.

The longer you spend wallowing in the demise of a relationship, or holding onto misguided hope of its miraculous reconciliation, the longer it’s going to take for you to emerge and thrive on your own.

I know that’s way easier said than done, and you should of course ride your grief out to its natural end. But holding onto anger, sadness or resentment for longer than necessary will only do yourself, and the people around you a disservice.

Breakups suck, but there’s an open window somewhere.

Shut Out Exes

This is one of the first lessons taught on day one of Single 101. If you want any chance of being successfully single, you need to delete your exes from your field of vision.

Post breakup, partners can be one of two things: happy without you or not. Either option is nothing but a burden on your healing process. You’ll think about them enough; giving yourself more to think about is just a recipe for disaster. 

Take Yourself Out 

One of the most empowering realizations you can have is that you don’t need a partner to try new things or see a new movie.

Take all those date night ideas and take yourself out on them. It’s a valuable exercise in seeing how you operate alone. Plus, it’s half price! 

Focus On Friends 

The abrupt absence of a significant other can often mean a valuable source of emotional support has suddenly evaporated. But sometimes when you’re wrapped up in a relationship, you don’t realise what endless wells of wisdom are right under your nose.

Turning to your friends, especially in a time of need, is so important. You’ll find a new avenue of emotional support and only strengthen your friendship in the process. Partners come and go, but friends are for life. 

Experiment With Different Forms Of Dating

Yeah, monogamy’s great. But being young and single is the best time to dip your toes into something a little less monogamous. Whether it’s casual flings, friends with benefits or a polyamorous arrangement, there’s a whole world open to you as an unattached human.

And hey, even if you come to the conclusion that monogamy is your only fit, then at least you know for sure and won’t be left wondering – that kind of thinking can poison the best of relationships.

Become The Person You Need 

The best thing about being single is realizing that you’re really the only person you need. You’re the only person you have control over, which means you can become the very person you need at any given time.

Treat yourself, support yourself and find power in being alone. Once you do that, nothing can stop you.

Being really single for the first time can be a jarring experience. But it also opens up the opportunity for some priceless experimentation that can be just as, if not more, fulfilling. And you’ll only be a better partner for it down the line.

Kim Koelmeyer is and Arts (Journalism)/Law student at Deakin University and deals primarily in memes and blogging.

(Lead image: How To Be Single/Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)