Culture

An Expensive Sex Doll Heist Has Been Committed in Melbourne

#Pray4Dorothy.

by Patrick Lenton  6 December 2017
sex doll

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

Christmas can be a lonely time, but a Melbourne thief has decided to take his happiness into his own hands and steal a ridiculously expensive sex doll from a Moorabbin sex shop.

The police are currently looking for a man who cut through a wire fence with bolt-cutters, and then used a fire-hydrant to break into the Sexyland outlet, before fleeing in his white van (the default mode of transport for the dodgiest crimes).

The store made it clear that this wasn’t simply a crime of opportunity, or a smash and grab. It was in fact a planned erotic-mannequin heist. Once inside, the man stole the sex doll named “Dorothy”, which is worth a whopping $4,495. It is unknown whether he took anything else, but considering Dorothy is life-sized at 168 centimetres, his hands were probably full.

The thief is described as having a solid build and wearing a dark coloured jumper with a red stripe across the chest, dark coloured pants and dark coloured shoes with white laces. Dorothy is wearing white lingerie and is a creepy sex doll. She is also described as ‘wearing a blonde wig’ but considering the rest of her isn’t real either, what makes it a wig and not her hair?????

Dorothy is a weirdly un-sexy name, right?

Dorothy’s features include a titanium alloy skeleton and “ultra-realistic feeling skin” which is technically how you’d describe Wolverine too. It’s unclear if this is a Westworld-style situation and that Dorothy is actually sentient, but that could explain the frankly exorbitant price.

If this is true, then perhaps our thief’s motivations are not purely horny, but actually altruistic, and this was a liberation of Dorothy from Sexyland. We can only wish Dorothy and the thief the best of luck in their life on the lam. Perhaps 2017’s unlikeliest hero is the Moorabin Sex-Doll Thief?

Anyone with other information is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or submit a confidential report at www.crimestoppersvic.com.au.