Politics

I Regret To Inform You, He’s Singing

We're officially in the worst timeline.

scott morrison april sun in cuba

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I regret to inform you all that we are existing in the worst possible timeline: the one in which Prime Minister Scott Morrison is willingly performing ukulele covers of ‘April Sun In Cuba’ in front of his family and Karl Stefanovic.

Just when you thought the last fortnight in Australian politics couldn’t possibly get any worse, Scott Morrison has decided to play the ukulele as part of an upcoming 60 Minutes interview in what I can only assume is an attempt to seem more human ahead of the upcoming election.

In what is the equivalent of a drunk guy at your house party picking up your out of tune guitar to bust out a cover of Wonderwall, Morrison haphazardly strums the ukulele while repeating the same verse of ‘April Sun In Cuba’.

“I can’t remember the words,” says Morrison, as if it that wasn’t obvious to anyone who has ever heard the song. It’s unclear if the ukulele is a skill he picked up on his infamous Hawaii trip in the middle of Australia’s bushfire crisis, but it sure is a weird thing to be flexing right now.

Australians who have awoken on this Friday morning to such an absolute horror have been quick to vent on social media, proving that perhaps he can be even more cringe than we expected.

The irony of Morrison singing a song about running away to a tropical oasis when life isn’t going too well is not lost on Australians.

Honestly, just take us to the election so we can stop having to witness politicians doing weird shit. Or, at least, give us an Anthony Albanese harmonica cover of Billy Joel’s Piano Man. Or perhaps just take me straight to the sun and let me burn alive in its fiery glory, it has to be less painful than this.