Donald Trump Is In A Dumb Fight With ‘Vanity Fair’ Over Their Scathing Review Of His Restaurant

Well, that’s one way to get the President-elect’s attention. Vanity Fair has published a damning review of Donald Trump’s Trump Grill, declaring that the ground floor steakhouse in Trump Tower in Manhattan “could be the worst restaurant in America.”

“As my companions and I contemplated the most painless way to eat our flaccid, gray Szechuan dumplings with their flaccid, gray innards, as a campy version of ‘Jingle Bells’ jackhammered in the background, a giant gold box tied with red ribbon toppled onto us,” wrote staff writer Tina Nguyen. “Trump, it seemed, was already fighting against the War on Christmas.”

According to Nyugen, other standout dishes at Trump Grill include a “chopped approximation of a Greek salad, smothered in melting goat cheese and dressing” and a “short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese.”

“If the cheeseburger is a quintessential part of America’s identity, Trump’s pledge to ‘make America great again’ suddenly appeared not very promising,” reflected Nyugen.

Trump’s famous taco bowl also copped a mention, with the writer describing it as “perfectly adequate.” Now that’s a ringing endorsement if I ever heard one.

In addition to the food, Nyugen also wrote about her waiter, who she says “was determined to gaslight us into thinking we were having a good time.” He was also apparently quick to assure the table that Mr. Trump has “pretty normal-sized hands.”

Naturally, Trump was soon using his pretty normal-sized hands to fire off a not-at-all petulant response. Earlier today, the future leader of the free world tweeted that Vanity Fair‘s circulation numbers were “way down, big trouble, dead!” and insisted that long-serving editor Graydon Carter has “no talent.”

Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of @VanityFair Magazine. Way down, big trouble, dead! Graydon Carter, no talent, will be out!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 15, 2016

Trump has a long history of sledging media outlets who are critical of him and his business ventures – from The New York Times to Saturday Night Live. He’s also had it in for Carter ever since Spy Magazine, which Carter co-founded, described Trump as a “short-fingered vulgarian.”

Vanity Fair, for its part, has embraced Trump’s assessment, and has since started running ads on its website proclaiming itself “the ‘way down, big trouble, dead!’ magazine Trump doesn’t want you to read.”