Culture

Sam Smith Had An Epiphany About Being Non-Binary While Drunk In A Brisbane Hotel Room

"I'd just started hearing about the term non-binary, i'd never heard it before."

by Rebecca Shaw  29 February 2020
Sam Smith

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

In an interview with Carrie Bickmore ahead of their appearance at Mardi Gras, Sam Smith revealed that they had an epiphany about being non-binary while drunk in Brisbane. 

I would guess that not many positive realisations have come to people while drunk in Brisbane hotel rooms, but for singer Sam Smith, the unusual happened. Smith, who came out publicly as non-binary last year, asking to be referred to as “they/them” and not “he/him”, has revealed the catalyst for the decision in an interview on The Project.

View this post on Instagram

Today is a good day so here goes. I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM ❤ after a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out. I’m so excited and privileged to be surrounded by people that support me in this decision but I’ve been very nervous about announcing this because I care too much about what people think but fuck it! I understand there will be many mistakes and mis gendering but all I ask is you please please try. I hope you can see me like I see myself now. Thank you. P.s. I am at no stage just yet to eloquently speak at length about what it means to be non binary but I can’t wait for the day that I am. So for now I just want to be VISIBLE and open. If you have questions and are wondering what this all means I’ll try my best to explain but I have also tagged below the human beings who are fighting the good fight everyday. These are activists and leaders of the non binary/trans community that have helped me and given me so much clarity and understanding. @tomglitter @munroebergdorf @transnormativity @alokvmenon @katemoross @glamrou @travisalabanza @twyrent @chellaman @jvn @lavernecox @stonewalluk @glaad @humanrightscampaign @mermaidsgender Love you all. I’m scared shitless, but feeling super free right now. Be kind x

A post shared by Sam Smith (@samsmith) on

Smith told Carrie Bickmore that the epiphany happened while on their second tour. “I had a massive night out at the end of the tour and I was drunk at 3am with my bandmates and friends in my room and I just started hearing about the term non-binary, and I’d never heard it before. The pronoun thing for me just felt like a flag in the ground kind of, like this is how I want to be treated by everyone.” Bickmore is a huge Sam Smith fan, who was recently surprised by her colleagues with an appearance by the singer in her home.

During the interview, Bickmore admitted to Smith that she had tripped up with pronouns, accidentally referring to them as “he/him” in the lead-up to them speaking. Smith responded that it’s okay to make mistakes, admitting that even they don’t always get it right. “I trip up too! Of course I do, i’m a human being. I have been called ‘he and him’ since the day I was born, you know, 27 years of my life, so I can understand.” Smith went on to clarify that even though it’s okay to trip up, it is still important to try and get it right.

“All i can say is that when people use my pronouns correctly, it’s a wonderful feeling. I feel safe, I feel happy, and I feel completely seen.”

Using someone’s correct pronouns is such an easy thing to do, and can make a big difference in people’s lives. Here’s hoping Smith discussing this issue on a show like The Project will hopefully lead to a lot more people knowing, understanding, and wanting to do the right thing.

The full interview is also very sweet, as Smith talks about how much Australia means to them, and performing at Mardi Gras for the first time.

Happy Mardi Gras!