‘Saint West’ Is A Great Name For Kim And Kanye’s Baby And I Will Fight Anyone Who Says Different
Do not test me on this.
Word is coming out this morning that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have named their newborn son ‘Saint’. That is a killer name, and anyone who disagrees can meet me outside to settle this properly.
SAINT WEST pic.twitter.com/xZGpY7z8KW
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) December 7, 2015
A lot of people are criticising Kim and Kanye for naming their baby ‘Saint’. “It’s not a real name!” “It’s disrespectful to Christianity!” “It’s an extension of their giant egos that’ll ruin their child’s life!”
When you hear Kim and Kanye named their son Saint West pic.twitter.com/ebEWseNKhw — ️ (@purposeavon) December 7, 2015
Saint west..? Really ? tf is wrong with celebrities and these dumb names??? pic.twitter.com/q653ZidyMO
— Saint West’s Lawyer (@jayyesantiago) December 7, 2015
‘Saint West’?????? pic.twitter.com/sc7dveNx0i — Sean O’ Donovan (@henriksen1) December 7, 2015
To these people, I say: shut up. You are wrong. Your thoughts are bad and foul, and if you persist in voicing them I will fight you at 3am in a McDonald’s car park.
Firstly, if Saint doesn’t like his name, he can always shorten it to ‘St’. So that’s that taken care of. Easy.
Second, ‘Saint’ is a cool and rad name for a tiny baby. All the other babies have dumb names, like ‘Paul’ and ‘Jenny’ and ‘Rupert’. Those babies fucking suck. Thanks to his sweet name, Saint has a built-in jump-start over all those other tiny jerks. It’s called evolution. Read a book.
Third, did you expect Kanye West to name his son ‘Greg’? Would that have made you happy? ‘Greg West’? Do you enjoy sewing misery and discord in the world, instead of joy and wonder? If so, you are a joyless sadist, and I will suplex you into the cold, unforgiving concrete of your local fast food restaurant’s drive-thru waiting area while the seagulls look on pitilessly.
Fourth, plenty of people agree: Saint West is a good and right name for Kim and Kanye’s tiny boy. Do you want to make enemies of all these people? They do not suffer fools.
Everyone is making a huge deal about Saint West like you thought they were going to name him Steve or something
— Nicole (@nicolemmarcia) December 7, 2015
Everyone bugging about Saint West AS IF the child of Kim and Kanye would be named Paul and grow up to be a mild mannered accountant. — Julie (@juliawun) December 7, 2015
saint west the type of baby to tell the teachers to raise their hand if they wanna speak to him.
— Cameron Dallas (@thenikhilkapur) December 7, 2015
Fifth, the only possible names for this child that would’ve been better than ‘Saint’ are as follows: ‘South by South’, ‘Easton’, ‘Wild Wild’, ‘John’.
After the tuna.
If you have some objection to naming your offspring after a delicious healthy maritime snack, you disgust me. I will rip the Chicken McNuggets right from your filthy hands and spill them on the ground and step on them so no one can eat them. That is how much I despise you.
Imagine if #KimKardashian named her new baby boy John. #johnwest ? pic.twitter.com/PS3YcHAax1
— Jo{TVCastleAlways} (@TVCastleAlways) December 5, 2015
Sixth, your doubt in this matter shames your parents. I will help your mother file adoption papers handing custody of you over to a pack of dingos. I will record a Vine with your father in which he lists all the ways he is disappointed in you. I will make your life a kaleidoscope of misery.
Seventh: fuck you. ‘Saint West’ is a great name.
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Feature image via Kim Kardashian West/Twitter.