‘RuPaul’s Drag Race UK’ S3E2 Recap: What The Frack?

Or, in the (not-headline appropriate) words of Michelle Visage, “what the fuck?”. Elektra’s lip-sync was the all-out acrobatic display I’d lose my shit over in a club, but on Drag Race it felt a little too desperate to be enjoyable. Trick me once, fool on me! Trick me eighty-six times, fool on you. (Fool on me, though, for entertaining that she could be this season’s Bimini. I was blinded by lust!)

Sad to see her go, mostly because it was hard to know who did well and who under-performed in this week’s challenge, an absolutely chaotic Peleton spoof. Half Rusical, half dance challenge, there was a LOT going on — the cameras barely knew where to focus. It’s giving ‘fly through futuristic neon 1 hour loop’: I need overstimulation, make me forget my body!!

That’s to say, I really enjoyed the mess. Was the Peleton challenge over-stuffed with segments and characters? Yes. Is a parody of a distinctly American exercise niche really the most sensical idea for Drag Race UK? No. Were the dances incredibly challenging to the point that the only two queens who could do them ended up in the bottom because they ended up looking off in comparison? Maybe??? It’s honestly hard to say.

But pretty lights, noisy music, dumb jokes!! Not to mention the drama: so many tears and intense conversations this episode. Let’s wade through it: Are you ready for a workout?

A Mini-Challenge Purely Designed For Krystal To Be Mean

Before we head into the Peleton challenge, Ru asks last week’s winner Krystal to give out some superlatives to her competitors. Here’s a shot of them all out of drag, just since I always like it as a reference point this early into the show/I love looking at their personal style (or lack of).

We’re all born naked and the rest is branding: Charity’s over here with face tattoos and rubber gloves, but Veronica ‘out-weirds’ her at every step, between her crop-top striped long-sleeved polo and that leotard she wears to rehearsal. I love her.

But I’m getting ahead of myself (overstimulated!): of the queens, Krystal calls Victoria her biggest competitor; River has the trashiest taste; Ella is the trade; Veronica has the most ‘out of date’ drag, and Elektra is the most likely to go next. She repeats a joke about Victoria just being the “biggest”, not the ‘biggest competitor’, which she apologises for later, prompting Victoria to share her history of disordered eating.

Last week, I wrote that I struggled to connect to Krystal, but I definitely saw more to her this episode. It was really mature and honest of her to say she fucked up while trying to impress Ru and felt really bad for taking a cheap shot. I’m not completely sold yet (and have no idea why she won this week), but I’m keen to see more sides to her, as we see glimpses of her being both silly and sincere this ep.

That conversation really opens up the werkroom to sharing their own insecurities. Elektra talks about being bullied for her abundance of freckles, to the point she almost bleached them off as a teenager: she sobs about how it was only her partner’s love that made her feel beautiful (As a freckle-y boy myself, I really feel for her).

Vanity talks to her experiences of colourism (including within her own family), and of the pressure of being the only Black queen on this season, something that makes River, the only Asian cast-member, tear up in agreement. It’s incredibly touching – you can see quite a few queens in the background of shots reaching for tissues – and also it’s nice to see the show keep in this moment that’s implicitly critical of their casting decisions, especially after how shameful Down Under‘s race politics were.

The queens are divided into groups for the challenge. The first is Choriza, Vanity and Elektra on the bikes, with Choriza self-admittedly the weakest link in a group with the two dancers. Then there’s River, Veronica, Kitty and Krystal — the first three are confident with moves, and Krystal freely admits she’s not super comfortable with either comedy or choreography. Nobody in the third group identifies as weak, though Victoria’s knee injury — caused during last week’s lip-sync — means she’ll have to perform a modified version. That’s the bottom three right there, right?

Nobody really seems to nail the choreography by Strictly‘s Oti Mabuse, and while we’re used to the show making a big deal out of every step the queens flub during rehearsal, they don’t really have it down by the performance either. To be fair, there’s a lot to do, especially for the cycling queens, Vanity, Choriza and Elektra (pictured above). Cycling and dancing and lip-syncing?? Buy a girl a subscription to a $39 a month digital cycle class + a $1500 bike first!

The stand-outs are those who sell the ridiculousness with a character. Choriza is fast becoming my favourite of the season, a ridiculous, horny queen who can’t stop mentioning sitting on big dicks and “serving big, juicy titties”. Victoria sells her ‘baby yoga’ bit despite sitting down for most of the set, while a lot of the queens that the judges celebrate all have a very similar ‘yelling coach’ character.

Of the bunch, Kitty is the most convincing coach, and there’s almost a sense that due to the performance’s rapid pace they all accidentally start yelling instead of whatever bit they have planned. It’s fine, but by the third queen who does it, it stops being funny. It was a fun challenge, but it was pretty difficult to judge.

I’ve read talk that this season had a super-short production schedule, where each episode was filmed in a single day rather than two or three, which has me a little worried about the season. If the challenges all turn out a little lumpy, that’s to blame: it’s pretty unfair on the queens and will lead to a huge burnout in an already stressful environment. It’s hard to verify right now, and I’m hoping it’s not true.

It’s Giving Cher Red Carpet Ready

This week’s runway is red carpet ready, and surprisingly no-one came as Jason Derulo falling down the stairs at the Met Gala. Maybe they’re saving it for Snatch Game? Just like any red carpet, there’s some innovation in here but mostly the queens just ran with the chance to feel glamorous: it’s hard to blame them.

My favourites were Kitty Scott-Claus, who’s also fast becoming a favourite, Veronica Green’s ’80s tulle and Vanity’s see-through violet dress. Colour is in!

The judges loved Krystal’s look and she ends up winning this week, but I’m really not getting it. Maybe there’s a magnetic presence that I’m not attuned to? I would have given this week’s win to Kitty and put Choriza and Ella in the top three.

In the bottom are Charity, Elektra and Vanity: I’m not sure I agree, but I also don’t know who I’d replace them with. Possibly River with Charity, but it’s much of a muchness as it’s Elektra and Vanity who lip-sync: well, Vanity lip-syncs, and Elektra bends time, gravity and the laws of physics with so many ridiculous acrobatic moves. Where it worked last week, it feels desperate here, and there’s few things I find more unappealing than a desperate drag queen. It felt very Sonique in her S2 lip-sync against Morgan, if Sonique was also on a lot of coke.

I’m sad to see Elektra go: she’s really fun in confessionals, but someone’s gotta go. Or maybe two queens must go, with the episode ending as RuPaul tells Victoria she has to seek second opinion on her knee to see whether it’s safe for her to continue in the competition. It doesn’t look good.

Hopefully she comes back for S4 if she can’t return next week, which is a classic design challenge using unconventional materials. A bigger cliff-hanger than Naomi Small’s.

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RuPaul’s Drag Race UK S3 is available on Stan, with episodes arriving each Friday 6am AEST.

Jared Richards is Junkee’s Drag Race recapper, and a freelance critic who has written for The Guardian, The Monthly, NME and more. He’s on Twitter @jrdjms