‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ S14E12 Recap: It’s Not Chocolate
This HAS to be the last non-elimination episode, right?? Right???
As glad as I am that Bosco had the golden ticket (to quote RuPaul, “oh my goodness!”) and to be done with this season’s non-elimination episodes (I think..), I do already miss the sad trombone sad effect that accompanied a queen unwrapping their chocolate bar and saying “it’s chocolate”. June Jumbalayah threw the first brick (of chocolate)!
After a so-so Snatch Game, this week the S14 queens reminded us just how talented they were with the Rusical — to paraphrase Willam and give away the plot divergence from the Baz flick, nobody died at Moulin Ru.
It’s getting down to splitting hairs, as this week’s bottom three of Jorgeous, Bosco and DeJa probably would’ve been safe in another cast. But, as they say á Paris, chic c’est la vie.
Leland is lucky he had immunity, as casting yourself as the love interest and barely dressing up was not the way to try and break through to the Drag Race audience — especially when you’re competing against Leslie Thee Jordan for Saltine’s heart. It was a little too ‘Meghan Trainor in a onesie’ for my liking, but bless.
The gloves, the scarf… someone on ‘Drag Race’ hates Leland!
As Gay People, We Get To Choose Our Own Talents
This week, the queens have to choose their own roles for the Ruscial, which leads to a pretty tense stand-off between Bosco and Lady Camden over the lead ingenue, Saltine. Bosco is really down and out after the last two weeks, so clings to the chance to impress in the role, and eventually, Lady has to concede.
Before that, Daya, who knows exactly how to make TV, asks everyone to vote between Lady and Bosco, then chooses to “tie” the vote so it comes down to Willow, a queen who has continually avoided conflict or playing her hand directly. Daya might just be the new Alexis Michelle, a queen doubling as producer — it’s also a good episode for her, as Bosco’s insecurities/immaturity here means the ‘villain’ (ie. slightly bitchy but barely even) role is taken for the episode, so she’s free to just be dumb and horny. Plus, without Jasmine, Daya has less reason to be perpetually annoyed.
Getting the party started… again!
I hope the wider audience sees what I see in her in this tail-end of the competition, as I think Daya’s an incredibly talented, funny queen who has a really distinct (ie. NOT Crystal) sense of drag and fashion. Sure, she’s been a bit mean, but never that mean (compare it to the genuine group bullying going on in S3!): besides, I think we’re only just now getting to see her silly and supportive sides, now that the Jasmine narrative is done.
The show’s also very actively pivoting in how it’s presenting Daya: later, we see her praise Jorgeous’s talent as a dancer, and she even gets her own ‘queer culture 101 confessional’ too about how queer kids often explore hobbies and interests in private or outside of institutions, in fear of being ridiculed. I think she’s making it to at least top 5 (and she deserves it!).
Lady is pretty thrown by the whole interaction with Bosco and down in the dumps about playing Mama Z, essentially the show’s ringleader, but Angeria, who may be the sweetest person in the world, gives her a huge pep talk about how she’ll nail any role. I know I was just defending Daya being a bitch, but God my heart warms whenever the queens support and help each other.
Realising we’ve had seven eliminations across 12 episodes
This is a pretty competitive cast — maybe my memory is failing me, but I feel like there’s been a lot more of the ‘I NEED this role’ scenarios than usual — but there’s still a camraderie underneath. I believe that’s what psychologists call a slay.
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Lady Marmalade!
The Ruscial is directed by Leslie Jordan, composed by Leland and choreographed by Miguel Zarate, who with two appearances now enters the canon of ‘hot Drag Race choreographers’ (he did last year’s Disco-mentary, too).
:)
No one really struggles in the rehearsals, and we learn Leslie was once a drag queen called Miss Baby Wipes: unfortunately, no photos pop up on the screen. Baby Wipes’ Drag Race… you’re hearing it more and more.
The musical itself is a medley of Ru’s tracks changed up a little. It’s no Madonna: The Rusical but it’s pretty enjoyable: DeJa, Daya, Jorgeous and Angeria’s characters are loosely modelled after the ‘Lady Marmalade’ singers, last time Daya did Pink she went home, but this time the judges love her, and she’s in the top alongside Lady and Willow, who gets a show-stealing part as Kylie Minogue the absinthe fairy.
Okay but she should have been a Kylie Rosé fairy
As Bob would say, “it’s WILD” that none of these queens want this role. It’s such an obvious slam dunk.
It’s pretty clear Lady’s winning, while Bosco is just a bit flat as Saltine and doesn’t quite deliver that musical over-acting, constantly reacting face. She doesn’t throw herself into the role, or doesn’t understand that her energy for the Rusical has to be OTT.
The rest are fine: I probably would have chucked DeJa in the bottom with Bosco instead of Jorgoeus, as besides her rap moment (a built-in show-stealing moment pretty much anyone would have killed), she’s pretty lacklustre and low energy. I recognise this is a variation about what I write almost every week for her, but it also remains true every week.
Heavy Metal And Reflective
This week’s runway is an ode to 2012 Julia Roberts film Mirror Mirror. I have not seen it, but from the runway alone, I’m sure Julia, Lily Collins and Armie Hammer had a lot of fun making it!
“I had crystallized and now I’m a glamazon bitch ready for the runway”, said Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen.
“I am the snake that told Snow White to eat the apple!”, said Julia Roberts, mucking around in her trailer by herself.
“I am bad!”, said Armie Hammer.
“Emily in Berlin”, Lily Collins says to herself before laughing uncontrollably mid-break from shooting. She can’t quite understand why, but a weightiness behind each laugh begins to make her panic.
“I thought this was Drop Dead Gorgeous 2”, said Amy Adams [She was very confused and turned up to set, it was a whole thing].
“I should do something like this”, said Angelina Jolie watching ‘Mirror Mirror’ in her regular home clothing, before singing up to make ‘Malificent’.
‘Wait how much am I being paid??’, Gene Simmons in a voice-over cameo role as a joke for the adults.
All’s that is to say I didn’t think much of this week’s runway, though Daya KILLED it and I loved Angeria’s fabric inbetween the panels. The queens are asked, for the first time this season, who they think should go home, and everyone picks Bosco but Bosco, who picks Jorgeous off “track record”.
Jorgeous, who has repeatedly said she hates speaking and can never string a sentence together, suddenly has a lot to say about Bosco’s attitude this week to Lady Camden. Plus, she points out that “if we wanna talk about track record, she was in the bottom three times in one episode”. Ouch. [In case you haven’t watched, Untucked is surprisingly tame despite everyone picking Bosco. She takes it graciously.]
With Lady’s win, she joins Bosco and Angeria at top of the pack with two wins: everyone else remaining has one. Jorgeous and Bosco lip-sync to a remix of Whitney Houston, and while it really feels like Jorgeous’ time, they pick Bosco so we can get the chocolate bar twist out of the way. She will be missed: funny how you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…
“it’s chocolate” you will be missed #DragRace pic.twitter.com/znVkHk6CLP
— Jenn?? (@jennipoochie) March 26, 2022
RuPaul’s Drag Race S14 is available to stream in Australia on Stan, with episodes dropped each Saturday 3pm AEDT.
Jared Richards is Junkee‘s Drag Race recapper, and a freelancer who writes for NME, The Big Issue, The Guardian and more. He’s across the internet as @jrdjms