Fuck me, that was an ep. Are you breathing? I’m not breathing. I haven’t been this anxious since The Avengers got royally fisted by Thanos, if you know what I mean. That episode was so hard to watch, Christina Aquilera could have made it her new music video. It was more awkward than Vicky Campion walking into her boss’ office and asking “for a raise.”

Let’s take a look at what had happened was…

The Snatch Game

Mirror mirror on the wall, what’s the worst snatch game of them all? It could very well have been this one. Sometimes, we snatch a lucky break with a few queens turning out an A+ celebrity impersonation, and at least a couple of queens bombing. As soon as the balance gets thrown out, the game is over. That’s what happened this week, when a clump of duds ruined it for everyone.

Look, no-one likes improv comedy people. They are a certain breed of comedy nerd prone to quoting Rick and Morty and addressing everyone like they’re at a goddamn renaissance fair. Fortunately, they clump together for reasons that, I assume, relate to safety and also they probably all like to fuck each other. Whatever keeps you out of the GP gene pool, improv nerds!

But regardless of how awful we all agree improv troupes are, they have much to teach the queens of season ten. That was a snatch game so hard to watch, it made me want to try heroin for the first time just to see if it could make the pain go away. Let’s take a forensickening look at what went wrong, like they do on the hit TV show CSI (is that still on? I’m so old.)

There’s a few unwritten rules on RuPaul’s Drag Race: keep your wig on during a lip sync, don’t wear a bathing suit wrapped in a piece of fabric, and don’t do Beyoncé on Snatch Game. Beyoncé isn’t funny. Hell, she’s not even human. She is a beam of light sent to us by God, and she is also God. No-one can make her work, and all hope abandon Bey who enter here. Asia escaped the lip sync thanks to her runway, but that Beyoncé was less Beychella and more Annalise Keating from How to Get Away with Murder. It was Tina Knowles after too many mai tais.

As if Asia’s Yoncé heresy wasn’t enough, The Vixen thought she might take a stab at impersonating the demigod herself, baby Blue Ivy Carter, first of her name, heir to the Deréon throne and the Tidal islands, breaker of 2 Chainz. The Vixen could have spun that little bubby billionaire heiress into a Snatch Game version of that Prince George on the helicopter meme i.e. all bougie and Veruca Salty. But instead we got sharp brat, a temper tantrum, and that was that.

I’ve seen some comments on this here world wide web that say Aquaria shouldn’t have humanised Melania Trump, but I think this was pretty solid satire and a genius move from Aquaria. At the top of the season, Aquaria had a lot to prove as the most (internet) famous drag queen to never go on RPDR (after Karen from Finance, of course). Her Melania was hilarious, and surprised many of us who may have expected Aquaria to have only been so-so. Instead, she won the week.

This is how you do a return to form in Snatch Game, kids. Monet’s few stumbles cleared the path for her to uncage her bird and let it sing as the Best Maya Angelou Impersonator Ever on Snatch Game. Monet’s version of Maya was consistent, funny, and well researched (as opposed to the misspelled ChiChipedia version we got in All Stars 3). Keep it up, Monet!

Black Girl Tragic

I’ve gone into this before, and for good reason, but this season has some of the most insightful commentary on race politics in RPDR, and how it relates to America today. I said a few weeks ago that if the black cabal that had formed around The Vixen during her initial confrontation with Aquaria had unionised, it could have been a narrative disruption we’re yet to see on the show.

Sadly, the same systematic issues that impede People of Colour and other marginalised groups from getting up and getting out are at play this season. This week, the topic of performing political drag in the face of white fragility came up on the show, with fan favourite Monique Heart disclosing that it’s hard to be political onstage when she lives and works in a former slave state.

A living wage versus financial largess was an important theme this week, with Monique acknowledging that she came to show with barely enough money to scrape together a few outfits, and had to rely on the fabric wall in the workroom to make her outfits each week. Meanwhile, Cracker and Kameron admitted to taking out huge loans just so they could arrive with enough expensive looking outfits.

Backed into a corner by her fellow queens, and the world, The Vixen shot herself in the flipper on the runway and backstage in Untucked. The episode arc seemed to be gearing up to send her home, until Monique flubbed the lip sync. Now, The Vixen has been given another chance to keep fighting, which she most certainly will do.

(You can read more about the revolutionary queens of colour we’re seeing this season in this excellent piece by Mathew Rodriquez). 

The Runway

This week’s runway was an homage to Bette Midler’s iconic mermaid act. In these culturally aware times, it was a little jarring to see the queens being pushed around in wheelchairs, but as it is written, flipping your fins you don’t get too far. This was a runway that revealed the financial disparity between the queens. Miz Cracker’s outfit was superhero movie quality, and probably cost more than most people on Newstart earn in a year. But really, even a goldfish could never forget Asia serving ‘Shape of Water? I hardly know her’ on the runway.

She Doesn’t Know The Words

How are we here again, America? Over the years, we’ve had a couple of instances in which the queens get to the lip sync and don’t know their words. “Fan favourite” Penny Tration (I hope you can hear me with those air quotes) was the first to go way back in season four when she didn’t know all the lyrics to Party in the USA. And who could forget season nine’s Valentinagate.

Watching Monique Heart flub the lip synch by clearly not knowing the lyrics was the final devastating blow in a gut-wrenching episode. The sadness behind her eyes as everything but her mouth moved across the stage was palpable. It was a very sad end for a lot of people’s fan favourite.  

Also, I am on record as a long-time advocate for a Carly Rae Jepsen lip sync. Essentially, it’s been a gay hate crime that we have never had a CRJ song on the main stage, and yet we’ve been forced to politely grimace through a Meghan Trainor number. So you can imagine how upset I was to witness that lip sync wasting a Carly Rae Jepsong. Justice for Emotion! Justice for Carly Rae!

Who Is Going To Be The Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner?

Tally wise, it’s now a battle between Eureka and Aquaria. These are the only queens with two wins each, and the camera is loving them both. This week, Eureka won the reading challenge and Little Miss Aquaria is playing the game right on the main stage and every single runway.

It’s upsetting, but not surprising, that even on such a revolutionary season in terms of African-American representation, that two white queens are en route for the crown. Worse, they’ve even relied on emotional labour from black contestants (The Vixen) to show growth and development. It’s not that Aquaria or Eurkea don’t deserve a top spot, but if this were Wakanda Drag Race, things would be a lot different.

Pardon me, I have to go immediately pitch something to RuPaul, Stan Lee, Chadwick Boseman and Michael B Jordan. ESPECIALLY MICHAEL B JORDAN.

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RuPaul’s Drag Race is fast-tracked from the US on Stan. Read more Drag Race recaps here.

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Nic Holas has written for The Guardian, Sydney Morning Herald, Archer Magazine, and Hello Mr. You can find him on Twitter @nicheholas, or in his role as co-founder of HIV movement The Institute of Many.