Wait, I Thought Everyone Thought About The Roman Empire?

How often do you think about the Roman Empire? That’s the question dominating TikTok right now, with baffled women everywhere discovering just how much the men in their lives think about this era. 

I’m not on TikTok religiously, so I didn’t catch this trend at first. When my colleagues inevitably came to me with the question, I fell into the trap, answering honestly… I think about the Roman Empire several times a week. Now I’m across this trend, I don’t know if I’m more shocked that I’m such a classic dude about this, or that there are people out there who don’t think about one of the most iconic periods in human history all the time. On the whole, I’m just glad I’m not alone. 

I’m not sure why I think about the Roman Empire so much. I guess what I’m most intrigued by is the many Ancient Roman inventions still used today and how the hell they did this all the way back before Jesus was born. There are hundreds of thousands of kilometres of Roman roads still in use. Julius Caesar commissioned one of the very first bound books. They even invented precise medical instruments that influenced many modern surgical tools — take that, gladiator haters. Finally, for any poor uni students like myself, Romans built the first apartment complexes or ‘insulae’. We live in a world so similar to the one they lived in, it almost feels familiar. There’s big sporting arenas, roads, food, galleries, cities and fashion. They just did it way earlier… And that’s pretty fucking cool.

I’m well aware that the Roman Empire wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies, though. Empires can’t be made without the exploitation of an underprivileged class and the era (around 27 BC to its fall in AD 476) was absolutely problematic.

But, I still can’t help but imagine being a spectator at the Colosseum (particularly when they flooded the arena and had ship battles with real weapons and cannons). I’d also love to lay in the steamy baths on my Sunday arvo. Or indulge in freshly produced wine. Or watch the development of human excellence evolve before my very eyes. Also, who doesn’t want to be fed grapes all day?

I’m not sure if I would go as far as saying I want to live during the Roman Empire days, but I’m in my delulu era: I definitely wouldn’t mind having a week-long holiday in a well designed villa with heated floors and extravagant shindigs. Thinking about Ancient Rome is like a guilty pleasure, and just like the Romans did, I’m going to continue to indulge. 

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Isaac Muller is a proud Palawa and Wiradjuri man and writer at Junkee. Follow him on Instagram. 

Image credit:Universal/ DreamWorks Pictures