From Robot Tour Guides To IKEA Airlines, A Brief Wrap Of The Fake News From April Fools’ Day

Lock your doors, close your blinds and throw your phones into the ocean: today is April Fools’ Day and nothing you see or hear can be trusted. Up is down. Black is white. Fake news is real news, or is it?!

Truth is, now that we live in the age of alternative facts, the idea of a day dedicated to made up headlines doesn’t seem quite as funny as it used to. But that hasn’t stopped brands from taking advantage of the free publicity opportunity.

Some of these gags were genuinely entertaining. Others were…less so.

To start with, the relationship experts – and I use the term very, very loosely – behind Married at First Sight announced they were launching their own online dating service. If this season is anything to go by, I reckon I’ll take a hard pass on that one, thanks.

Krispy Kreme declared they were gearing up to open Australia’s first doughnut-themed amusement park. Not a bad ruse, except for the fact that they said they were going to build it in Perth.

Furniture behemoth IKEA, meanwhile, announced they were getting into the air travel business with the launch of FLIKEA, “a single-class, low-cost carrier” that would offer the world’s first non-stop flight between Australia and Sweden. Personally, I’m not too keen on the idea of flying in a jumbo jet assembled with an Allen key, although to be honest I don’t know how much more confident I’d feel going with Virgin given their new look cabin crew.

Today we are excited to unleash our new Virgin Australia Canine Crew in a world first initiative. pic.twitter.com/d1GCIbd3qG

— Virgin Australia (@VirginAustralia) March 31, 2017

Contiki Tours appear set to ditch their human team members as well, unveiling their first ever trip manager powered by artificial intelligence. Which is all well and good, until the thing achieves self-awareness and goes on a robot killing spree. This is how it starts people!!

Speaking of travelling, Travel Insurance Direct announced a tattoo translation app that lets you double check what that cool looking Asian character means before you get it permanently inked onto your skin.

The Sydney Opera House has also pledged to finally do something about the seagulls at Bennelong Point, hiring aviary behavioural specialist Rick Uccello to train staff in specialist seagull engagement techniques. “We hope that with Rick’s expertise in forms of bird counselling and gull hypnosis, just recently employed in the area, there will be a continued reduction in the tensions between man and bird,” said an Opera House spokesperson.

Still, I think my favourite fake announcement of the bunch was Deliveroo’s new method of delivery. Seems a bit inefficient tbh, but still…damn.

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Feature image via IKEA/Facebook