‘Red Dead Redemption 2’ Online Is Creating Some Powerful Ugly Creatures
If I could make them prettier I would.
Red Dead Redemption 2‘s multiplayer online mode provides players with the power to create their own cowpeople, saving the virtual American frontier from being overrun with gruff white men repeating “hey there, mister!” ad infinitum. However, in an apparent effort to prevent mankind from truly becoming gods, Rockstar’s tools are more suited to creating faces that will sink ships rather than launch them.
Part of the joy of character creation in video games is being able to sculpt flesh like Play-Doh into a being of your own design. You can be a benevolent creator, blessing your avatar with the face you wish you had. Or you can be Saruman overseeing the creation of the Uruk-hai. Either way, the power is yours.
But sometimes that control is taken out of your hands. Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you create the thing children check under their beds for at night. Sometimes, the character creator is butts.
My character on Red dead online is so beautiful, Good job on the character creation Rockstar. pic.twitter.com/illsljRBWp
— Lobster⚓ (@RunawayLobsterr) December 3, 2018
Meet Gertrude, also known as Default Face 02 from Red Dead Redemption Online, as you can see she is a young and spry 18 year old outlaw with the looks of your 90 year old grandmother. pic.twitter.com/ojAU7TP8g5
— StudiousComa (@StudiousComa) November 28, 2018
Players have been griping about Red Dead Online’s unfortunate face options since the mode’s launch at the end of last month. Of particular note are the available teeth, which appear to range from “toothpaste is a scam” to “I’m a long-time heavy smoker who is paid to be punched in the face”. Which, depending upon how you play the game, may not be far from the truth.
It’s true that in 1899 dental care was not quite up to today’s standards. But also, it’s a video game. Let us have our aesthetically pleasing Wild West fantasy.
The teeth options in Red Dead Online.. ?#RDR2 #RDROnline pic.twitter.com/H77J9IYcJD
— TmarTn (@TmarTn) November 27, 2018
Played a little bit of Red Dead Online today. All the teeth in the character selection screen are nasty as fuck bro I’m tryna have them pearly whites smh
— greg ? (@icejuuice) November 29, 2018
In response to Red Dead Online’s uncooperative character creator, some have leaned into the chaos, crafting truly horrific visages to be released upon an unsuspecting public. Ruddy, pitted skin and oily hair are voluntarily combined with wildly disproportionate features, then attached to players’ in-game representatives. Many things in this world do not make sense, so why not let your face be one of them?
Good thing i was mature and made a normal looking online character from reddeadredemption
? What most Red Dead Online characters look like#xbox #RDR2 #RedDeadOnline pic.twitter.com/gX1cJbztqU
— FiveTheGamer (@fivethegamer) December 1, 2018
Other players are determined to overcome these obstacles and make the most of an average situation. A few have thus managed to wrangle the difficult character creation into submission, forcing it to spit out normal to even attractive people. Though sometimes you have to be careful to only look at them from certain angles.
Character creator is not as bad as people are making it seem: from reddeadredemption
I love the way my character came out! Compared to the other ones I’ve seen in competitive modes, I think I look pretty good. from reddeadredemption
I would describe my online character as an Asian Colonel Sanders… from reddeadredemption
But one player looked at Red Dead Online’s landscape and thought to themselves that something — or someone — was missing. A familiar presence that the wild country could benefit from. A face that all could recognise and find comfort in.
Redditor dawid59101 saw a society in need of a purveyor of fine fried poultry. And, in the absence of one, they created a character to step up and fill the role.
So good.