Queer Pokemon! The first generation of Pokémon is inherently queer, it’s just science. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Queer is a word in a constant process of evolution, a consistently transformative word in regard to the tangles of gender, sexuality, and the ways people use and create their own bodies. Queer is a verb, a performance, an identity. It is also sometimes Pokémon: creatures of a variety of shapes and sizes that I and many others like to throw balls at in an attempt to train and make them battle.

It’s hard having been a kid growing up in the mid 90’s/00’s to hear the word “evolution” and not think of Pokémon. A franchise that, with its insistent questioning of “Are You a Boy or a Girl” and terrible TM’s like “Attract” isn’t, in reality, all that queer friendly.

Yet, when you sit down and really think about it, slipping your queer goggles on (in much the same way as Ash would flip his hat before throwing a Pokéball) you can see that Pokémon really can reflect different aspects of our wider queer community. Particularly the first-gen Pokémon, all 151 of them.

My proof of this concept: I love Pokémon, I am also very queer. I’m no scientist but, coincidence?

Had to defend this thread today so just gonna say

1) these all take into account the base Pokémon AND any of their first gen evolutions

2) It’s science ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— A Geek with a Hat (@AGeekwithaHat) September 23, 2018

TL;DR: All gen-one Pokémon are queer and I’m here to show you how.

Bulbasaur:

The green living, quinoa eating, raw vegan lezzie.

Charmander:

A real soft gay boy who grows into a massive leather daddy.

Squirtle:

The bisexual boy who’s wading through a lot of toxic masculinity (the Squirtle Squad really messed him up).

Caterpie:

The trans girl who has known herself since she was a kid and absolutely blossoms once out of high school.

Weedle:

That trans boy who has known himself since he was a kid and absolutely blossoms once out of high school.

Pidgey:

A pansexual whirlwind who has a good eye for fashion. Looks cool in double denim.

Rattata:

That gay guy who always uses teeth.

Spearow:

The bi guy who is always on the move but is never alone, flies with a group.

Ekans:

Nonbinary, with quips as quick as their wit (hiss hiss).

Pikachu:

A masc enby who not only doesn’t tolerate their Pokéball, but also doesn’t tolerate your gender binary.

Sandshrew:

That shy nerdy demi girl, a booktuber.

Nidoran♀:

A queer girl who grows to be an incredibly badass drag king.

Nidoran♂ :

A queer boy who grows to be an incredibly badass drag queen.

Clefairy:

The bisexual trans party girl who comes home at 3am with smudged makeup.

Vulpix:

A cute kid who goes through a lot of gender dysphoria, but grows up as best they can to completely own and love themselves.

Jigglypuff:

That one queen who can’t give up the mike. She can’t sing but does so anyway (lowkey asexual).

Zubat:

That pitchy twink at the club with personal space issues.

Oddish:

A grey-ace demi girl. She has an awkward middle phase but grows out of it.

Paras:

Your garden variety cis gay boy.

Venonat:

Androgynous, also collects houseplants and candles.

Diglet:

Polyamorous and not afraid to throw a wig on.

Meowth:

Comes in third place for the “Queerest Team Rocket Member”, cis gay white boy.

Psyduck:

An easily confused aromantic.

Mankey:

Gym gay who gets angry at newbies who steal his spot in front of the mirror.

Growlithe:

A majestic lesbian

Poliwag:

A polyamorous demi boy, suffers from vertigo.

Abra:

A bigender aromantic sorcerer/ess.

Machop:

That baby-gay posting gym selfies and bragging about his #GetHealthy exercise routine #MondayMotivation #GymLyfe.

Bellsprout:

A nerdy homosexual who just cannot stop putting things and or people in their mouth.

Tentacool:

An agender hentai dream.

Geodude:

A stone butch.

Ponyta:

A luminescent, polygender femme.

Slowpoke:

Tired™.

Magnemite:

Magnets are very queer.

Farfetch’d:

An under-appreciated bisexual.

Doduo:

An asexual panromantic unironically watching Fuller House.

Seel:

A slippery enby who gives good face.

Grimer:

A homosexual who drinks too much coffee.

Shellder:

A closeted queer with high defence.

Gastly:

The questioning goth femme.

Onix:

Sentient anal beads.

Drowzee:

That one creepy cis gay guy who thinks just ‘cause he’s gay he can touch people’s boobs.

Krabby:

Lowkey slutty aromantic.

Voltorb:

Genderqueer clitoris enthusiast.

Exeggcute:

A bundle of eggs is called a faggot?

Cubone:

The poor baby queer with a lot of family trauma, especially mummy issues.

Hitmonlee:

That queer who likes foot play.

Hitmonchan:

That queer who likes fisting.

Lickitung:

The cunnilingus QUEEN.

Koffing:

A first-year Uni student who vapes and is intimidated by the on-campus queer group (they’re questioning).

Rhyhorn:

A fucken horny masc who swings their big phallic horn around.

Chansey:

A literal aromantic asexual cinnamon roll, too pure for this world.

Tangela:

Genderfluid; they’re always getting tangled in other people’s problems but handle their own well.

Kangaskhan:

A queer mum for all the other queers.

Horsea:

That soft demiboy, pansexual, also anxious.

Goldeen:

Living her best drag life.

Staryu:

They are a nonbinary beauty blogger, used to be on Vine.

Mr. Mime:

Closeted gay man who mimes heterosexuality and builds walls around himself

Scyther:

An agender warrior 100% ready to cut gatekeeping bitches.

Jynx:

Literal drag queen.

Electabuzz:

A dudebro who is not as good of a top as he thinks he is.

Magmar:

A lipstick lesbian.

Pinsir:

Is pansexual, also furious.

Tauros:

The astrology queer, who knows when Mercury is in retrograde (they can feel it).

Magikarp:

A lil’ queer who stays in the closet for a long, long time, but when they are ready they emerge as the most queer and badass mother fucker around.

Lapras:

A grey-aromantic asexual always taking care of others (carrying them around on her back).

Ditto:

Is polygender and very good at fitting in with different friend groups.

Eevee:

Is our genderfluid icon.

Porygon:

Is a queer who knows how to code and probably has a great Tumblr blog.

Omanyte:

An Eldritch horror (praise him).

Kabuto:

The underrated demisexual.

Aerodactyl:

*dramatic screeching* (bigender).

Snorlax:

a sleepy boi.

Articuno:

That one lesbian you catch sight of across the room or on the street and think ‘shit’…beautiful.

Zapdos:

Is always buzzing on something, likes dubstep (at first out of mockery but then he slipped), demiromantic.

Moltres:

A flaming homosexual.

Dratini:

Precious babygirl growing into her trans lesbian self. Immense beauty.

Mewtwo:

A gay demi-boy with a lot of internalised misogyny and homophobia. He’s working through it.

Mew:

A polygendered aromantic who leaves the teabag in.

With 151 Pokémon down, there’s 656 to go, and like any dedicated Pokémon Trainer, I’m determined to systematically label, stereotype and queer them all.

The amount of men miffed and annoyed by my queer Pokémon thread is actually delightful

— A Geek with a Hat (@AGeekwithaHat) September 24, 2018

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Jes Layton is @AGeekwithaHat, writing, drawing and discussing queer-nerdy things in Melbourne.