Culture

Patrick Stewart Wants To Teach You How To Do The Quadruple Take

Professor X gave his girlfriend an acting masterclass. She uploaded it to YouTube. It's the best.

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I want to be Patrick Stewart’s girlfriend.

I want to have feet that look amazing when manicured, but probably also look great when bare.

I want to put those manicured feet on his knees and giggle through his acting masterclass, in which he attempts to exhibit the mythical quadruple take: “a rarely used device in comedy”, but the only one he knows.

I want to film him saying the line “her buns are the best” over and over again until his eyes start tearing up with laughter, while the two of us spend the afternoon together, potentially stoned out of our minds.

I want to upload that footage to YouTube, and watch it go viral. And after that we’ll stretch out on the couch with some pizza and do the crossword together, forever.