Pass It On: This Kid Thought It Was A Good Idea To Pull Out A Dildo At A High School Assembly

Homecoming: no one outside of America knows what the hell it’s about, but such school gatherings offer an opportunity for unlikely legends to be made. Take the mysterious school burnout, for example — you know, that quiet kid with long hair and a combat jacket who always sits alone under the playground tree at lunch reading Bukowski. “That guy’s a fucking nutjob,” says the school, as they push past him in hallways.

Then, one day — with brow sweating, chest pounding, and hands oddly fumbling around his pants fly area — he does some wildly rebellious, completely inappropriate shit right in the middle of assembly, and a new teen folk hero is born. Or, you know, he got further shunned for being a clown, either one.

Jesus Christ, that moment when the teacher walks over and does the “You! Come here!” gesture sent instant shivers down my spine. High school, never forget.