Not Even Anthony Hopkins’ Voiceover Can Make The New ‘Transformers’ Film Look Interesting

As insufferable Hollywood franchises go, Michael Bay’s Transformers movies are pretty hard to top. I honestly don’t know what bugs me about this series the most: the on-the-nose 9/11 imagery, the incomprehensible action scenes, or the fact that it keeps snaring quality actors in its unwieldy robot claws.

Case in point, the first trailer for Transformers: The Last Knight features ominous voiceover from Anthony Hopkins, reading what sounds like a bad first draft of a Westworld fanfic.

Aside from Hopkins, The Last Knight stars Mark Wahlberg as Cade Yeager. Yes, that’s the character’s actual name. Cade is a red-blooded American who likes guns, trucks and just wants to take care of his family, I assume. It’ll be interesting to see whether Wahlberg has the range to pull it off.

Other highlights of this trailer include medieval knights, Nazis, lots of explosions, a giant spaceship nearly crashing into the moon, more explosions, explosions, characters gritting their teeth with determination, and an evil Optimus Prime trying to murder Bumblebee. Don’t worry though, Bumblebee is getting his own spin-off movie after this, so I’m pretty sure he’ll be fine.

Hey, whatever happened to Shia LaBeouf? Didn’t he used to be in these movies?

I miss Shia.

Transformers: The Last Knight hits cinemas in 2017.