New Zealand is a truly magical place. It has rolling hills, bountiful craft beer and majestic flightless birds; at first glance, it’s picture perfect. But to those who grew up there (myself included) we have another source of wonder: our treasure trove of bizarre TV awkwardness.

Tony Abbott may have eaten a raw onion, and Amber Sherlock and Julie Snook may have bickered about their wardrobe, but Australians still have a long way to go before they eclipse their NZ neighbours for awkwardness.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is a collection of New Zealand’s weirdest TV moments:

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10. An X-Factor Contestant Got Bullied For Wearing A Suit

Someone getting bullied on a heavily-scripted TV show isn’t anything new or different. It’s the basis of many reality TV shows, from Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares to The Biggest Loser. But this one did seem extra strange.

In 2015, Cleopatra-lookalike Natalia Kills and perpetual groomsman Willy Moon decided to attack contestant Joe Irvine for his lack of originality, based on his decision to perform in a suit. The heavy irony of highlighting yourself as someone who respects originality while judging on a franchise panel show appeared to be completely lost on both judges.

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9. Someone Got A Death Metal Band On A Kids Show

The Erin Simpson Show was a tween-friendly kids show from 2009-2013 which featured interviews with kids and regular appearances from cheerful pop musicians. Erin was in the “cool older sister” genre of hosts and feigned enthusiasm about everything from the school holidays to Justin Bieber.

So, you know, death metal band Blindfolded And Led To The Woods were one of the show’s less predictable guests. The group shared a charming story about one of their members falling off the roof and breaking both his legs, while Erin tries to bring some enthusiastic cheer to the situation.

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8. “Always Blow On The Pie”

Back in 2009, Sargeant Guy Baldwin offered some very serious advice about eating food at appropriate temperatures and changed the NZ Police tagline forever. Thanks to this surreal viral footage, “safer communities together” is now synonymous with pies.

It’s not Guy’s message in itself that’s weird, it’s more the context. Some blurry-faced suspect is fumbling under police and camera attention in the early hours of the morning — cue Sgt Guy who decides it’s the perfect time to try out some of his deadpan stand-up material.

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7. A Politician Found Out His Press Secretary Resigned On-Air

The 2014 election in New Zealand was strange for many reasons. A book called Dirty Politics made serious allegations about political corruption, and former Labour Party leader David Cunliffe’s wife created a fake Twitter account to fight off her husband’s naysayers. However, conservative politician Colin Craig — who bears a striking resemblance to political lackey Jonah from Veep — was on hand to provide one of the great cringe moments.

When his press secretary Rachel MacGregor resigned after labelling him “manipulative”, the friendly local news media confronted him to break the news. Colin was left blinking in the sunlight stammering, “I hope she’s un-resigns”.

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6. The Political Shuffle

New Zealand politicians have got some moves. This remixed video segment which aired on the evening news highlights what happens when the New Zealand Labour Party let their inhibitions down and dance like they’ve never danced before.

While it’s not exactly clear where this video takes place, Labour’s Trevor Mallard displays a stunning flourish of moves, stances, skips and a flailing of limbs proving once and for all that he is truly lord of the dance.

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5. Sauna Sessions

It turns out that Colin Craig has had more than one weird moment captured on film. Tickled filmmaker David Farrier really turned up the heat on the conservative politician when he shared a sauna with Colin. With the resignation of his press secretary, perhaps Collin didn’t have anyone to warn him that this wasn’t the greatest idea.

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4. “This Is The Fucking News”

Paddy Gower is a prominent New Zealand political editor with a deep voice and perpetually deeply furrowed brow. He typically delivers his analysis in ministerial corridors or on the steps of parliament.

In 2014, Paddy stepped out of his comfort zone to deliver his live report in a library, before he received a rather colourful shushing. Thinking on your feet is essential for all broadcasters, and Gower — who is used to sparring politicians — rebutted the naysayer with a dazzling show of quick wit and intellect.

This piece of poignant New Zealand journalism has since been immortalised in exactly the way you might expect:

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3. ‘Blue Monkey’

Suzanne Paul is the eccentric fun aunt of the infomercial world; she’s synonymous with Natural Glow beauty products and daytime TV. But in 1994, the chirpy TV personality emerged with another product altogether: a single called ‘Blue Monkey’ with an accompanying dance.

This clever two-for-one release subtly advertises her infomercial work while also highlighting her naturally flawless moves. With zingers like “While you’re sitting, you could be knitting” and “I was born ready”, she truly is the people’s poet.

But wait — there’s more! Feel like you want to join in but just don’t know how? Suzanne preempted you in her helpful how to. Or better still, some genius has also provided you metal fans with a helpful remix.

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2. The PM’s Three-Way Hand Fumble

During his reign, former PM John Key regularly cosied up to the All Blacks, as though some of their fans’ adoration would rub off on him. While this handshake is not all John’s fault (Chariman of World Rugby Bernard Lapasset is definitely hogging the hand), a zoom reveals the clinging desperate way John paws at Richie McCaw’s fingers. It’s Broadchurch levels of dysfunction.

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1. A Politician Cops A Dildo To The Face

New Zealand has a long and proud history of protest (NZ was the first country where women won the right to vote after all). These days however, if you want to express your overpowering anger and passion for injustice, forget the protest songs, just lob a dildo at a politician’s face.

The woman who did just that yelled shortly after; “I did it for our country”. After all, what great political triumph hasn’t been achieved through sex toys?

Economic Development Minister Steven Joyce was subsequently dubbed “Dildo Baggins” in the press and was also featured on Last Week Tonight. John Oliver handled the moment with the sensitivity it deserved.

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Elizabeth is an award-winning journalist and writer living in Melbourne. She would appreciate it if you tweet her puns @Eliz_Beattie.