As someone who has been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), I have encountered my fair share of stupidity in regards to what people think about the mental illness. Not to mention what they say about it in real life and online.

In light of this, here is our definitive list of things that just aren’t OK to say to someone with OCD.

#1 “I Have OCD Too, My Room Is Always Clean”

If someone has just poured their heart out, telling you about their often borderline traumatic experiences with this mental illness, “I have OCD too” is the last thing that they want to hear from someone who has never been formally diagnosed.

Not only do statements like this invalidate the experiences of the person you are talking to, it comes across as really insensitive. If you are genuinely worried that you also have OCD, please see a mental health care professional.

#2 “I’m SO OCD”

This is the one I hear the most, and, like the first statement, makes the person actually dealing with the mental illness feel like their experience isn’t valid.

This statement also perpetuates OCD as a “quirky” character trait instead of the exhausting mental illness it actually is.

#3 “So Do You Like Wash Your Hands A Lot?”

If you don’t know much about OCD, your perception of the illness is probably limited to mainstream media representations of people who suffer from it. These representations often portray compulsions related to personal hygiene, like washing your hands profusely.

Though this is a stream of the illness and some people do engage in these behaviours, it’s important to recognise that this is a stereotype. Not everyone who has OCD engages in compulsions relating specifically to personal hygiene.

You can have a look at different manifestations of OCD here.

#4 “You Don’t Seem Like You Have OCD”

People who have been diagnosed with a mental illness do not owe you any degree of “proof” unless you’re a health care professional.

Like many of the above statements, this implies you don’t believe the person’s experience is actually genuine. It can be very hurtful and exhausting for sufferers to feel like they have to constantly prove that they are dealing with this disorder.

Another thing to note is that not all compulsions are directly correlated with physical actions. Some people with OCD will engage in non-verbal compulsions such as repeating phrases to themselves in their mind to get rid of intrusive thoughts.

#5 “Are You Sure You Have OCD?”

By now I’m sure you’ve noticed a theme. Refusing to acknowledge someone’s mental illness, after health-care professional has formally diagnosed them, is extremely detrimental to that person’s sense of self.

If someone trusts you enough to open up to you about their mental illness and how it affects them, second-guessing the diagnosis is not only unhelpful but very hurtful. It will almost guarantee that they will be reluctanuni t to open up to you about similar issues in the future.

It’s OK to ask questions and to not understand everything about this illness — people who suffer from it don’t even know everything. The key is to make sure that you keep the feelings of the affected person in mind when discussing OCD and don’t try to undermine them by suggesting that their feelings or diagnosis aren’t valid.

No matter what, show your support and love for people affected and even if you don’t understand everything, your support will mean the world.

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If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental illness, you can find help by seeking advice from a counsellor or calling Lifeline on 13 11 14.