Here’s Your Foolproof Guide To All The Best TV And Movies Coming To Netflix In March 2019
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In the olden days, before streaming giants like Netflix and Stan changed the way we consume content forever, March was a month of dead air on the cinematic and televisual release calendar, too close on the heels of the Oscars to be the release window that any studio wanted to drop their best stuff into.
But now there’s simply no such thing as dead air as far as the world of movies and TV is concerned. Every month there’s more and more original content to consume, from star-studded films to engaging, longform stories draped over multiple parts.
It can all get a bit overwhelming — there is nothing more tyrannical than choice after all, and sometimes kicking back with your laptop can feel like one more chore to overcome.
To that end, here’s our foolproof guide to what’s hitting the major streaming services — Netflix, Stan and Foxtel — in March 2019.
Queer Eye Season Three
Queer Eye, the mammoth streaming success that you cannot escape, is making its third season return to Netflix this March.
There was no way that the show wasn’t coming back. At this stage, at least in terms of total cultural saturation, it’s probably eclipsed the original Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, not to mention blown Australia’s own paltry attempt at a reboot straight out of the water.
Little is known about the new season of the Netflix giant yet, save for what could be gleaned from a short, Carly Rae Jepsen-scored teaser. But there’s a strong chance that it’ll feature a whole new barrage of heart string-tugging montages and magical, unexpected transformations. Get the tissues ready!
Where you can watch it: Netflix
When you can watch it: March 15
A.P. Bio
Sick of uplifting television about people somehow overcoming the odds and becoming their best selves? Well then A.P. Bio is the show for you.
Starring Glenn Howerton of It’s Always Sunny In Philadephia fame, the show is a dark-hearted character study about an embittered ex-philosophy professor who takes a dead-end substitute teacher job in a backwater town, and uses the combined talents of his students to wreak terrible revenge on all of those who hurt him. It’s as vicious as a prison shank, and just as abrupt — you have been warned.
Where you can watch it: Stan
When you can watch it: March 18
Amy Schumer Growing
It’s been a hot minute since Amy Schumer was last on our screens — after a string of box office disappointments, culminating in the questionable I Feel Pretty, the comedian and actress took a short break from public life.
Now that break is over, and in what feels like a fairly calculated response to a mounting backlash against her, Schumer has gone back to her roots with her new stand-up special, Amy Schumer Growing, set to hit Netflix in March. An early billboard for the project has mocked A Star Is Born — it’ll be interesting if the special itself riffs on pop culture, or if it takes the classic Schumer line of making the personal political.
Where you can watch it: Netflix.
When you can watch it: March 19
The Dirt
As far as salacious rock memoirs go, Mötley Crüe’s The Dirt is the filthiest of a very filthy bunch. Charting the rise and then spectacular implosion of one of hair metal’s most uh, energetic acts, it’s a story of sex, and drugs, and then more sex, and more drugs.
Now The Dirt is getting its long-awaited film treatment: a movie adaptation of the book is hitting Netflix in March. Whether it does the right thing and engages with the troubling criminal history of some of Mötley Crüe’s band members, or simply doubles down on all of the gross-out partying gags, remains to be seen
Where you can watch it: Netflix
When you can watch it: March 22
Now Apocalypse
The release of any new Gregg Araki project is a cause for celebration. The genius American filmmaker, a maniacal auteur who flirted with mainstream success with Mysterious Skin some 15 years ago, before backing away from the spotlight and doubling down on his drug-addled, bonkers, extraterrestrial proclivities, has been relatively quiet for the last few years. Rather than headline a project himself, he’s been keeping himself busy by working as a director for hire, loaning out his talents for shows like Riverdale and the highly controversial Heathers reboot.
Now, finally, a new project Araki has spearheaded is set to hit our screens. Now Apocalypse is ostensibly a show about hot people screwing each other (a long-time Araki staple), but it’s also set to include aliens, mind-expanding hallucinogens, and the end of the goddamn world. Count us the fuck in.
Where you can watch it: Stan
When you can watch it: March 10
What Else Is On?
If you’re still not satisfied, then don’t worry: here’s the list of everything we know is coming to Netflix, Stan, and Foxtel Now in March 2019.
What’s On Netflix In March:
- Cricket Fever: Mumbai Indians — March 1
- The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind — March 1
- Hereditary — March 5
- After Life season one — March 8
- Juanita — March 8
- Walk. Ride. Rodeo — March 8
- Triple Frontier — March 13
- Arrested Development season five — March 15
- Turn Up Charlie — March 15
- Queer Eye season three — March 15
- Amy Schumer Growing — March 19
- Delhi Crime — March 22
- The Dirt — March 22
- Osmosis season one — March 29
- The Highwaymen — March 29
- The Legend Of Cocaine Island — March 29
What’s On Stan In March:
- RuPaul’s Drag Race — March 1
- Now Apocalypse — March 10
- A.P. Bio season two — March 18
What’s On Foxtel In March:
- Solo: A Star Wars Story — March 3
- Secret City S2: Under the Eagle — March 4
- Guy Martin: Classic F1 Special — March 4
- Top 30 Most Influential Women in Music – Hosted by Missy Higgins — March 8
- Better Things season three — March 12
- Dirty John, The Dirty Truth — March 19
- Aftermath season one — March 21
- Knight Squad — March 26
- Cults And Extreme Belief — March 27
- People Magazine Investigates: Crimes of Fashion — March 30